If you are 13, and you are diagnosed bipolar, and you haven't seen a doctor for 10+ years... something doesn't add up.
But just in case I can't count...
If you've decided you can't get professional help, you have a choice.
Option A: Take your treatment into your own hands and try every possible no-med technique to control your illness. For example, strict sleep regimen,eliminate caffiene, sugars and any foods that contribute to mood swings, take high doses of samon oil and/or eat a diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, yoga, meditation, spiritual/reigous involvement, etc.
Option B: Decide that there is nothing you can do, nothing you will do and live a hopeless, miserable, and tortured life without treatment.
My ex-husband chose B. Divorced with a criminal record and doesn't see his son. No job. No steady home. drugs, alcohol, sex-addiction... been there done that. Possiby living with a girl? Or homeless? But who is to know?
I chose A (and professional help). I'm a university student, I own a home, I live with an AMAZING man who is supportive, I take care of my son to the best of my ability. I seek help, I get relief from medication, therapy, and friends. I won't allow this disease to own me!
Your posts sound like you are choosing Option B, which makes me very sad for you. I agree that it is competely unfair you are dealing with this alone. BUT, pity doesn't solve your problems. The ONLY solution is for you to take control of your life.