I was cut off medicaid a few years ago and haven't been able to afford my medications. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 9 and it is, in my case, hereditary and I have never been off my medications before. For the past 11 years they have been my rock, along with therapy, and i can no longer afford it. I make just enough money to be unable to get medicaid, and just too little to afford medical insurance. I don't know if i can afford the community center and i can't deal with a group session because i have tried that...it just doesn't work for me.
I have been married for the past year and a half and my husband is my rock now, but he can't help me with this disorder.
I am in school, almost getting my associated degree...my last day is april 25th, and i have my own business as a dog groomer, and i love my job.
Lately though I am just going crazy with feeling of utter failure and disappointment. not all the time, just when im going through an episode which happens rather oftenly because of not being able to afford meds. I feel stupid and just that ill never amount to anything, i know what i want to do and what i can do, but that doesn't matter to my brain. I just feel so horrible and so stupid that its almost impossible to live with. I would never kill myself and its not about that, its the fact that i feel i am responsible for all of my families financial troubles and all of the suffering my family is going through, i don't feel that i could ever own my own place with my husband and i just feel so horrible.
One minute ill be so happy and love everything, but the next, its just pure and utter failure. I need help but i can't afford it, my medications are not covered by the free med sites and i just don't know what to do, i found this site and i really believe it could help. I hope i can get some help by everyone here...