I have lost my husband to Bipolar Disorder I believe, and have noone's support in the matter. My husband has never been diagnosed, nor does not want to be diagnosed. He is enjoying his new liberation, because he has left me and the kids (yet he still hasn't left the home) and is living a life of binge partying, drinking, sex I am sure which occurs every night all night without fail. He has spent all our money, and we are so far in debt that the 12 years we have worked and built has been lost in a mere 6 months. He has affairs, with young girls in their early 20s and late teens, we are both 34. To him I am now old...he says the most harshest things and has become abusive to me, even infront of my children. Everything he does, staying out all night, etc...is all my fault...I work from home, so I don't work all of a sudden, he is out all night, because he doesn't want to see me....what????We are no longer married, so I should stop being in denial, he just decided that one day...etc...etc...
Finally I gave up, sold the house (when I found signs that a girl was in my house) and started ignoring him...he didn't like that, he became very anxious and one night, broke down crying and saying how sorry he was and how he ruined our lives, and how much he loves me...of course after months of hell, I wanted to believe him so bad, I took him back, just to have him continue treating me like garbage...and we are back in the same situation.
I am filing for seperation, which I have been trying to do since November when I caught him with a teenage receptionist at his work, yet I keep stalling because he always says he wants to fix the marriage, of course after he destroys another part of the house in his rages...well guess what the seperation is back on, and now I believe I will be getting a restraining order as well, once I leave the house. He is dangerous and out of control.
One minute he loves me and is sorry for what he says, the next he wants me DEAD and despises me. I have sold our home and whatever money we are making is going to all the debt he has incurred on his shopping sprees, ... (I really believe, but haven't proven yet) and of course wining and dining his *****s, who believe he has money, because he goes to clubs and greases the bouncers, then pays cover then pays for drinks all night long. He boasts about
this...taking the food out of my children's mouths and giving it away to strangers, during his manic Grandios episodes. My husband has never done this before...he doesn't blow money, he certainly doesn't enjoy shopping or wasting money...I don't recognize this man anymore...Things he says make no sense to me like, I am a beautiful woman yet I am one of 10 billion beautiful woman, yet he is one of the top 5 gorgeous men in comparison to George Clooney...or he is not a bachelor, he is The Bachelor, like on TV...I guess that means juggling many girls.
I have tried getting him to therapy with me, which he went a total of 3 times...and our therapist agrees I maybe right, but she says unless he is willing to get treated there is nothing I can do. He agreed to go to his GP and have a bipolar assesment, of course while doing the test, he lied about
every single thing and the doctor looked at me like I was a wife in denial that my marriage was over, and to pretty much get over it, or deal with it through a therapist or a lawyer, was his exact suggestion...well that doctor got a piece of my mind. I corrected all my husbands tales for answers, and then as the doctor pulled me aside, I advised him of many scenerios which make me strongly believe that my husband is suffering from some sort of mental disorder. I told the doctor, it's fine, you say he is fine, then he is fine...I can gladly leave knowing he is fine...but if he crashes, and he will crash, I told the doctor that's on him not me...so don't call me! I guess I kind of scared the doctor because he went back to my husband and asked to refer my husband to a phsychiatrist, my husbands response was "Not unless I am forced to by a court order"....does that sound like someone who wants help. Definately not! He has destroyed the marriage and family, and I will never believe another word from his lying deceiving mouth again, so he better not even dare come crying to me again...everytime I cry, he insults me and throws me out, so as my 11 year old son says, do not cry for him again mom, or my 6 year old daughter says, just quit mom...so I am taking the advice from my kids for their sanity and mine and leaving.
I AM DONE!
I have given my husband all the benefit of the doubt against the better advice from everyone who loves me and are seeing me go through hell...
Please tell me if I am alone in this, because I have no clue how anyone gets their spouse into a pyschiatric hospital for treatment and medication, which he desperately needs, when he manipulates and lies to everyones faces including me...they all think he is the same guy they knew...when they see him once in awhile, but I believe people who see him daily are catching onto his lies and bs...I know he has been warned at work several times and maybe fired, this for a man, who always thrived and was the golden boy in every position he held...What a waste of a beautiful and brilliant man...this disorder is deadly!
Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 3/9/2010 8:24:21 PM (GMT-7)