The circus continues.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 3/14/2010 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
It has been a little while since my last post.
My Wife suffers from this disorder.  She has a 14 yr old daughter from a previous marriage that is being sucked into this mess.
My wife, "K" was in a 30 yr marriage, where money was never an option.  She left that marriage, based on a "hello" phone call from me.  She left her stately mansion, toys, affluence to arrive in FL and approach me.
We lived together thru her very nasty divorce.  Her attorney would talk with her (long distance) and then ask to speak with me, so that I could repeat the information.
Some time ago I detailed this information during the last major episode.  She had major surgery in 2006, and after recovery, the minor impllications that something wasn't right, emerged into full blown BP.
Her Pdoc increased her Celexa to 20mgX3perday. and added Abilify.  That was recent.
In Sept 2008 I moved from FL to VA to assist my brother, and for us to start anew.  She remained in FL until I could secure a place to live, and to establish work.
I would come to FL about every 3 to 4 weeks to visit, and see my children.  "K" has a history of wearing out her welcome because of this BP matter.  Although we had lived together since her return, we didn't marry until Dec 2009.

A week after our marriage, she had an episode, and in order to not have conflict in her Mother's home, I returned to VA.  Her actions for the next six weeks involved her brother coming from Michigan, moving certain properties in storage of mine to another (not complete) and changing locks etc.
Six weeks later, she called, made up, and I was in FL for a visit and to see my children.  I staid in a local motel, she came to see me, spent the night, grandma was able to oversee her 14 yr old daughter, and the next day "merde hit the ventilatour".  She picked a fight with her elderly Mother, and was kicked out.
I managed over the course of two days to find shelter.  She's not welcome in the local FL shelter as they told her to leave.  So finally I located housing for them in VA, 30 miles from where I lived.
That lasted 10 days.  They told her to leave due to two violent episodes in the facility.
My brother allowed them to come to where I was staying, he was going to visit family for two months anyway, and we would have the home to ourselves.
On his return a major episode occurred, and she left in the middle of the night while I was asleep, walkng down a dark mountain road after midnight, with her daughter who was wearing NO coat and it was 23 degrees.  The Police took them to a homeless shelter.
She stayed at that one for 10 days.  They have a financial retention policy of 75%, which all she receives is child support.  She hasn't been able to keep employment, and was terminated from McDonald's of all places.  Workplace violence.  The only employment she has had since 1990.
When her CS was in, she bolted.  The money was more important.
She filed a complaint of DV with the County Police so that she could be housed in the Salvation Army Shelter.  This was 11 days after leaving our home.  Once they investigated, they unfounded the complaint.  But she was where she felt comfortable.
She remained there for 4 months.  I had returned to FL which is my actual home.  Once her welcome there became questionable, and they expected some progress, she bolted.
Having no other place to go, they came to live back with me.
Since August last year, she was here, but each month there is an episode where she leaves.  Each time, she goes to her daughter's school, changes the address, contacts, authorizations etc.  They actually sent her a letter demanding that she confirm her location or they would notify child protective services, as they had declared her daughter as homeless.
The last episode involved her paying her share of expenses.  Due to her inability to find employment, she survives on child support.  However, when it comes to pay her share, and due to the affluent lifesyle she led prior, she considers this money as "mad money" to use her term.  Her Ex pays child support but she relys on others to support her daughter.
Her last departure prior to this one, was to stay for about a month with a sympathetic family.  They quickly determined that what they were told was not entirely accurate.
Her daughter backs her play most of the time.  Despite what all has occurred, she is still an honor student.  But signs are appearing that this may not hold.
They will concoct stories to support their need.  The family quickly determined due to changes in their stories, that they might not be quite the way as told.  Too many changes.
According to them, I'm the meanest ugliest ogre that ever existed.  The family has become quite close to me now, and realize that this was merely an attempt to gain favor.
My wife borrowed money, and never repaid.  When she fled, she continued the actions as previous posts have declared.
I found out after a month of absence, that my family was not with these people as suspected, but had actually returned to VA.
My wife knows NO ONE in VA with the exception of my brother.  He has said that his interest is only with his neice, and that my wife best not appear at his home.
She is back in the homeless shelter.  Since January 1999, my step-daugher has been in four schools.  This is unacceptable.
Once I was informed that they had left for VA, I contacted my step-daughter's natural Father.  Father has no connection with this donor.
He has refused to take any action.  Despite four custody hearings during the divorce, this low life refused  to pursue any action.
The only person it appears that is concerned about my step daughter is ME!
My wife's family will have nothing to do with her.... it's a shame.
Soon things will collapse.  Due to her spend-thrift actions, she personally is over 140K in debt, with many judgements.  The shelter will help her seek housing through HUD, but the policy they follow will more likely prevent approval.  Not to mention her arrest two years ago for domestic violence where I was the victim.
This is a %#*~ sandwich, and somebody's gotta take a bite.
I'm hangin' in.....
I know that this is the illness at work, it's NOT my Wife.  I'm trying to convince my family and friends that this is the case.  They haven't studied as much on this disorder as like the masses, they don't understand.
Tryin' to stand firm....

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 3/14/2010 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Not much to say except:

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 3/15/2010 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   


  Wow, really sorry to hear about all the pain you are going thru. It does sound like your wife is on the very bad end of BP desease and without serious help will not recover. At this time you need to concentrate on you and your step daughter and provide the best life for the two of you as you can. You will also need to monitor your step daughter to see if she shows signs of BP also as it is genetic. I know with my step son who is 19 and is the son of a BP1 we have an open lines of communication about the desease. Since i suffer also i can give him support and insights about what to look for.

   You just keep doign your best to take care of you adn the step daughter. Your wife needs help but it sounds like only being put in an hospital is her only choice at this time. Even then lots of BP stop taking their meds when not monitored so there is no guarentee she would even stay on her meds if given.

   Keep strong and post here when  you need to talk.



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