Hey cateyes, i'm a step parent also and yes, it sucks bad because you are never really allowed to be the parent. Oh you are alllowed to buy things, give money, but never are you allowed to be the one making decisions about how to raise the children and what should be done with them when they are bad. My wife even said to me if we had our own childit would be different. I said it should have never had been different to begin with.
Now, are you acting crazy about this? NO. Your hubby should NEVER give to his ex without consulting you first. Yes it is his kid, but you are his wife. It shouldnt be pitting one against the other. he has to make a vow never to give away YOUR money again without discussing it with you.
As for the EX we now know what kind of person she is and she cant be trusted. She is trying to milk your hubby for every dime he has by using the kid for an excuse. If she cant take care of her finances and is going to lose her place you all need to file to get custody of the child so you can give him a steady home. She is an evil and thats all there is to it. And as long as the cash register that your husband is to her keeps working she will keep trying to get money out of it. My advice is to just be civil,, but have no words with her other than what is neccessary to take care of the child. He is going to act out because of all the instability in his life, be the good step mom and be the friend to him he needs, dont try and be a mom, he has screwed up one right now.
And wee are here for you, you can vent to us all day long.