Thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom. I made it through the week. I didn't call my therapist or the hotline because I knew they would committ me, and having been through that before, I did not want to go that route.
I decided to take a "What do I have to lose if I stay around approcah!" I guess it worked because on thursday night I received a phone call from my 20 year old college sophmore daughter . . . she was in jail because of a DUI, failure to yield which caused an accident totally both cars, and underage rinking.
She lives 900 miles away! She is one of those ideal children . . . grades, looks, personality! she misses me deseperately, and cried her eyes out because I wasn't there to bail her out (only her father was there). Believe it or not, that made me realize what it would do to her if I killed myself! Was her arrest a message to me . . . YOU BET!
Again, that you for all the care and hugs . . . I am so glad that I found this website!!!