It all started out good!!!!

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 4/5/2010 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
It all started out good then it went to crap very quick the weekend that is.  I have given up and given in.  Thinking big changes are coming.  None of which I want but you can only be told so many times how unwanted you really are before you just get it.  Spent all of Easter day alone.  Never done that one before but hey there is a first for everything.  I was very depressed missing my other son.  who is not welcome in my current place.  wow I have put up with so much and loved so deep but my own child is not welcome in the place where I live not even to visit.  Hell he was born different bipolar and adhd and he shunned.  my stepson now has add anxiety and depression and he still doesn't understand it's not a choice they make they are just born that way like me I was just born different.  One day it will all make sense to him when it hits him so hard or their is a tragedy in his life that opens his eyes.  Life is hard enough than to be hating on certain things.  It's amazing I thought I had the most perfect individual out there.  A kind caring compassionate man all of which he is.  He just doesn't see their are people out there that are not like everyone else if their even is an everyone else.  I am crushed hurt and jaded go figure and my will to hang in and hang on is gone.

Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety

Post Edited (Cateyes) : 4/5/2010 12:07:09 PM (GMT-6)

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 4/5/2010 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Please don't give up even when you feel that is all that is left to do.  It must be really hard dealing with your own problems and trying to help/relate to children.  It all feels so overwhelming sometimes, I really do understand.  Hopefully today, tomorrow, or soon will feel a little lighter.  Sending good vibes of healing your way.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 4/5/2010 11:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Precious Gem,
What is left I have given it all and now I am busted with no ideas. I love this man and I love my stepson but I feel as if nothing I do will ever suffice. He is a good man and walking away from our life together will be a tragedy but what do you do. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. I am just lost and hurt. Sometimes he jumps to conclusions and just gets pissed. He visited with his mom which I thought was a great idea and my stepson said he just wanted him and dad to go so I was ok with that. The next day my hubby calls and ask how I am doing I said well I am alone and it's Easter. In my own mind I was talking about missing my other son who lives with dad this is our first easter apart. We always did a big easter thing and it was a highlight for me because winter time is usually depressing for me. So I just slept all day and cried alot. My hubby was pissed never even gave me the chance to explain just a few rude comments and I'm tired of dealing with your depression. I thought maybe if he was educated on bipolar he would understand it more but nope it is just another reason to think I am screwed up. Why did he even marry me I wonder he likes nothing about me. Giving up is all I have......
Bi-polar, Adhd, Anxiety disorder, PTSD with a child with ADHD BIPOLAR Anxiety

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/5/2010 2:04 PM (GMT -7)   


  Hey cateyes. I've been in that lonesome place you describe and there is a way out of it. When my wife and i were having all our problems it felt like there was no where to go but out. Out of the relationship, out of my mind, out of this world, just out. 

   How i started to rebuild was to first get the right meds into my system.Then i worked on stuff i could control. Namely me.  You have control over exactly one thing in this life, yourself. So working on that i just allowed the rest to slip off me and not hurt me so much. When my wife was grumpy i took a walk. When she left me alone sexually i took care of what needed taken care of. In short i worked to depend less on others and mote on myself and my animals. It took alot of work but i am now at a place where i am in control of my feelings. 

   In the end you need to give your hubby time and space to learn to live with you .  It will take time, but you will need time to work on yourself and get cateyes under control and happy.


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