Can't call for help

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/11/2010 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I can't seem to get myself to call for help.  I get into really depressed phases but then I get out of them and am fine for a little while.  I want to leave my job all the time, my 1 year old drives me crazy some days and other days I just want to hold her and cry.  I feel like I can't talk to my husband about it because he thinks that I'm just complaining all the time.  I feel very alone and sad a lot and I don't know what to do about it.  I just want a shoulder to cry on but I don't have one.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 4/11/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 4/12/2010 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   


  First of all welcome and secondly, you are not alone. We all understand what it feels like to have a SO not really understand us.  So you have a great group of people here who can and will actually understand you . Keep posting and we can see if we can give you some guidance.  You dont need to feel alone, the people here really understand what living with BP is really like.



horse crazy
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 4/12/2010 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Stick close to the forum. We truly understand. We have been and still are in the same spot as you. Hang in there.
Horse Crazy
Bi-polarII; rapid cycler; Lithium 900 mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/12/2010 3:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi buckeye21,
Welcome to HW wink Glad you have found us. I just wanted to tell you that what you are feeling is something all of us have experienced at some point or another. Just curious, have you been diagnosed with bp? Do you have a pdoc? I only ask because if you are struggling, then you really should call out to your professional support system, as well as here! I know when I notice my mood sinking and things in my daily life seem beyond my control and the stress is all just going to eat me alive....that is when I need to take action, even though it's so hard to...I get it hun. It's really really hard and overwhelming sometimes. (((HUG))) It's okay to open up here. It's a safe place where I've found support for over 5 years now.
Let us know how we can help and keep us updated. Meantime, take deep breaths, hot baths, or a walk?  Just try to clear your mind and find some peace somehow in all this crazy mix. I don't know if you do yoga?  There is nothing that can center you like yoga!
Anyway, you are in my thoughts. And we are here.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 6 mg/day, Lexapro 10 mg/day  & Lamictal 400 mg/day.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/12/2010 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
...It's me again.....blush
I wanted to add a couple of things. My bf and I have been living together for almost 4 years and it's really hard for me to this day to talk to him about this. The one thing I think that would maybe help improve things is if he would educate himself more, but I can't force him to do that. Over the last few months though, things have been better. Baby steps, and even still I don't hold my breath. Really I know this is my illness and truly I am the one who is responsible for managing it all. It's true. He is there for support sometimes, and when he is not I know where else to reach or how to use the tools to cope to pull myself through. I take it ALL one day at a time, trying to not get myself scared about the "what ifs"
Interesting about the job you're not liking. The same thing happened to me so I (thanks to the support group I went to at the hospital) left my job, went back to school (through government funding, since I had a condition) and now I work at a hospital.
Just wanted to share those experiences so you know you're not alone. Our partners love us and this a very complicated thing for anyone not going through it, to wrap their head around it. Stressful jobs don't lead to a heatlhy balanced life, so maybe there are other options for you???? Anyway, enough from me. I don't usually ramble, maybe I'm cycling into a bit of hypomania....Take special care of yourself, and keep us updated.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 6 mg/day, Lexapro 10 mg/day  & Lamictal 400 mg/day.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 4/12/2010 3:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I completely understand. I am the same way with my daughter. Some moments I am so irritable that I snap at her and then there are moments that I just hug her and the tears start and I am thinking to myself that she deserves better than how I am. My husband tries but he tells me he doesn't understand how I am feeling and sometimes when I am depressed he gets mad at me because he thinks I am not trying. The others are right, if you have a pdoc you should call them. If I can't get myself to do it, I ask my husband and he does it for me. Are you on meds? It is really important to take them regularly. I am horrible at that. Now that the weather is warming up, even if you just sit outside in the sun for fifteen min. it helps. Winter is always the hardest for me. I have to use a SAD light to help get me through. I'm new too to this site but I have had problems since I was in middle school and was diagnosed Bipolar in 2000. It is a daily struggle. Some better than others. Hang in there.
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