Thanks you guys.
Well, I was going to post new entitled "Terrified" but "taking it slow" still applies.
Last night I talked to my Mom very briefly to see how she was doing after her biopsy. She's all stapled up and in more pain But even worse, they ended up doing a CT Scan and they found another spot on her lungs
I really am freaking out, even though we don't officially know it's cancer, all I can think about is that it is cancer and it has spread and that scares me to death. My mind last night was going to the worst possible places. I am trying to think positive, but it feels like I can't at all.
I am going to call pdoc this morning and let him know what is going on. The Lexapro has been upsetting my stomach so I think I need to stop that and consider something else or go back to the Mirapex. Yesterday I had a panic attack (a really bad one, at work) for over 3 hours, it was very difficult to breathe. I forgot my Clonazepam at home....I have it with me today.
I am worried about my mood and at the same time, I don't even care. All I really want is for my Mom to be healthy. I cannot lose her
I will try to not let my mind go to the scary places, and I am going to try to cope somehow....