PTSD is not a life sentence. You do not have to live in the past. You are NOT a victim! You are not "messed up." You are experiencing a typical human response to chronic trauma. You are strong and resilient person; your life has given you strength and character and made you the beautiful person that you are today.
You cannot blame yourself. It is what it is. You did the best you could with the abilities and knowledge you had at the time.
To forgive is NOT the same as to let it go. It does NOT mean that "it is OK." It does NOT mean that you are not hurt. You don't even have to talk to the person or tell them you forgive them. It is something completely inside of your - in your mind.
Baby steps here...
YOURSELF - (always hard)
Who is easiet to forgive? Your daughter? Do you in any way feel that your daughter during pregnancy and birth restricted you from sex, left your husband unsatisfied? Any suppressed, lingering resentment? (of course you love her! but mixed, suppressed feeling are totally possible)
For 2 years, I wrongly blamed my son for the end of a long (and good) manic episode and the beginning of a depressive episode. When I began to understand what this BP thing is, I was able to forgive him and move on..
I have some material from a small group I led for people with hopelessly broken lives. One of the exercises was to write down EVERYONE who had wronged you. It was broken up over 3 weeks so it wasn't overwhelming. It was absolutely eye-opening for all of us how much we hung onto - especially from childhood. Write it down, clear your mind, get it OUT!
If you want any materials or exercises, email me. Topics were trust, love, forgiveness, healing, vulnerability, etc.