hey Bill - have I ever mention that I am jealous of your hypomania? I supposedly have the "perfect" BP treatment: stability (except if I forget my meds!!!) with zero side effects.
I do like stability a lot, but I miss everything I could accomplish with hypomania. Of course I'm coming out of 4 weeks of being messed up, so I am REALLY behind on house work etc and that influences how I feel about it.
Then again, hypomania for me is ALWAYS followed by a deep, dark depression - so maybe I don't miss it after all.
@ Darren - There are a bunch of people (myself included) that sleep through the depressions. I am rapid-cycling, so it doesn't last long. I am safest if I am asleep. I might sleep 20+ hours during a bad depressive spell. If I manage to stay awake, I'm on the couch staring at nothing, or distracting myself by watching TV. or eating.
The best way for me to cope with the "how is today going to be?!" worry is by setting a routine. Get up the EXACT same time every morning - even weekends. And do the same thing. I used to get up early, get dressed quickly, get in the car and listen to polka music on my 25 min. commute. No one can be crabby while listening to polka. lol During this time I got the HUGEST compliment (sort of) from a coworker. She grumbled at me "You're always in the same mood!" That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. little did she know...
Having something that I am responsible for really helps. When I was working in dog kennels, I would get up because the dogs would suffer if I was late and there was no one else that could or would do my job. I couldn't get up for ME, but I could get up for THEM. Maybe there is somewhere you can volunteer? Like an animal shelter?
I struggled a lot because I got sucked into the concept of a monring routine as cooking and eating breakfast, washing dishes, packing lunch... and that's not me. My morning routine is about 5 minutes. But it is enough.
For most BP-ers, sleep is like a reset button. It is pretty magical for me - I wake up at a balanced mood. However, something can set off a bad state about instantly. If I wake up with cold feet - my day is crewed up. My mom would wake me up yelling when I was a kid and it would ruin my day.
I know I'll wake up balanced, but I need to take control of those first few minutes after I wake up to stay stable a little longer - hopefully the whole day.
Conquering the sleep-wake cycle is the biggest challenge of BP (IMO). It is also one of the most effective treatments.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder