Hi everyone, I recently got diagnosed for Bipolar II, and reading all of your posts have helped me so much, thank all for sharing! I don't feel so alone anymore.. its a great feeling to know you're not the only one dealing with this life long disease.
Some of the things (that I CAN remember) that I have done while going through a mania episode are:
I Cheated on my boyfriend with his older jackass cousin by sending him racy photos over text.. and to my surprise he showed almost every guy in my school.
I also kissed this guy, something i would have never done if done in the right mind set.
I drank alcohol at school and got totally drunk.. started telling everyone in my last period that i loved them.
Stole a senior girl's boyfriend when i was a freshmen and then left the guy as soon as he broke up with the girl
I would talk extremely fast and was excited about
Felt like I was high on drugs or totally intoxicated.. felt like I was on top of the world.
Started smoking weed on a daily basis with my bf..
I am extremely horny.. me and my bf went through 4 boxes (90 count) of condoms in just one summer
I dress totally promiscuous and my behavior is totally eccentric and unapologetic regardless of who you are to me.
I pierced my tongue and ears on a whim
I flirt with everyone... everyone..
I feel as if i am bisexual and i am barely finding is out overtime i go into mania.. but i have done nothing about
that though THANK GOD. (straight as can be) I also thought my art professor had a crush on me.
I broke one of my house windows with my bare hand just because i couldn't wait for my mom to
open the door with the keys.
Drive recklessly. Speed constantly and I stop for NO ONE. I have ALMOST gotten so many tickets before but i charm the officers.. and they let me go with a warning.. thank goodness..
Thought that every intuition or feeling I got came from god because god was sending me messages through those thoughts and/or feelings.
I am EXTREMLY paranoid that EVERYONE is out to get me, it plotting to hurt me or humiliate me for the things i have done.
I either believe that everyone loves me and is my friend or they are my enemies that hate my very existence.
I think that everything a person says or does refers to me (good or bad).
Thought I was in love with a guy i met in college after have two classes with me.. i Felt like he was the ONE.. (i am still fighting through this crazed thought..)
I have spent so much money! Online shopping for anything and everything that comes to mind.
The walls appeared to be moving to me
I thought i was some sort of magnificent artist and writer and wrote these awful poems to this guy i was talking to and he showed them to everyone.. just to hurt and humiliate me i guess..
I almost jumped off my roof just to feel an adrenaline rust.
2 years I would sing from the top of my lungs in my room when no one was home despite the fact that i knew that my neighbors could hear me.. they still don't look or talk to my the same.
I believed that reptilian people rule the world and that my professor, co-worker, and counselor were in fact shape shifting creators on disguise.
I felt like my professor could read my thoughts, was stocking me, and could see things through my eyes like some sort of magical portal.
I thought that demons and satan were making my do all these crazy things and that demons were walking around in human suits
I felt like i was the most special person that there could be and that i has super human powers and that i could make people do anything i wanted them to do just by thinking a thought.
I would get mad and everything and anybody for no reason at all
Things i have felt/thought/done while depressed:
That I should just kill myself because everyones life would be better without me.
I felt sad for the things i owned because they were in the possession of something so utterly despicable.
I wanted to jump off of my roof to kill my self
I wanted to crash my car into oncoming traffic
I would cut into
I started smoking cigarettes to slowly kill myself.. but i quit because i didn't have energy to smoke
I sleep all the freaking time.. being tired makes me tired and being awake is the hardest thing to possibly live through
I eat NON STOP even when i am full to the tip top
I cannot talk, my brain can't process fast enough to do so.
Life is not worth living.. but i can only hope for the better time to come.