Hey Mogs, no i dont mind you asking how i am doing or what i am thinking. Maybe by sharing here i can help others understand how we think and feel, that would be well worth it.
I am stuck in my marriage, there are good times, but it keeps coming back to the fact that my wife doesnt ever want to have "relations" with me. I am a huge believer that the act of making love brings two people together, and that not doing that, or kissing even, that things go to bad things. THat is where i am. I am still a sexual being, by that i woul dlike to make love once a week, maybe twice. My wife feels i should be so medicated that i should never want to have sex. That just isnt a realistic thing for me to consider at age 42.
Mostly i am struck by how much my wife and i have changed. Not her fault or mine. Just life changes you, i think everone here can understand that. My mentality is to get in front of problems before they get to bad, my wife chooses to ignore them until they are ready to explode. It's just a way of thinking that i cant get my head around, im just to proactive for my own good.
I do have an idea what i will do and when, till then i am keeping my mouth shut. LOL LOL LOL Honestly i feel with my BP i will eventually have to leave her, and the house. I understand that i need to reduce the stresses in my life, and that just might mean living alone the rest of it. Like i have said before, i am not affraid to look at the worse case senerio, that way if you know the worst that can happen, then you can plan for it. Plus it isnt as scary if you look at the big monster in the light.
Ok here is a picture of me the other day after my mania was over. I have some circles under my eyes and i shaved off all my hair. LOL LOL LOL But honestly i feel so much better.
Plus one of thor, the joy of my life.
"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill
Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.