Tired and worn out

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red lightening
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 6/23/2010 9:11 AM (GMT -7)   
I got so depressed that I had to take a 2 week leave
of absence from my job. I stopped taking one of my
meds when I started getting depressed thinking it would
make me better as it is anti-manic, (abilify.) Well this didn't
work and on Celexa alone I just got worse.

Now I'm back on
abilify with the addition of celexa and lamictal. I am so tired
and confused about jobs and life. I can't read. I feel hopeless
and frustrated ad weak because I can't work but I hated my
previous job in a nursing home and I think that led to my downfall.

I'm glad to be alive and I have so much to be grateful for...I
just physically feel tired and my brain says I can't do it....anything.
Because I'm tired and worn out and I'm trying to get re-adjusted
to the meds. Sorry I sound like a whiner...I feel like I can't function.

I haven't cleaned the bathrooms in a month and I feel like a bad person.

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 6/23/2010 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   


   One thing i have found was that the work i do is also work i love. It took a bit to find jobs that fit me so well but boy was it worth it. It really isnt work when you enjoy yourself as much as i do doing all teh different things i do.


  I hear you on depression, god it is such a life robbing condition. At the end of the day i honestly feel like i perfer the manias, painfull as they are, i have never wanted to die when i am manic.

  I hope you find some peace soon. In thepast when i am depressed i try to get one thing done a day, even if it is a small thing. Once i get that small thing done, i then try to do one more thing. Basicly i am trying hard to set up a cycle of success. And getting the ball rolling is the hardest thing in the world.

   Good luck and keep posting. And you are not a bad person. Not in the least. You are here looking for help, that means you are farther along than many people who are just sitting there suffering in silence.



   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 6/23/2010 2:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey red,

Sorry to hear that you are so low. I am right there with you. Haven't had a high in 2 months. I've only been cycling a little....Oh being bp is such a joy!!

I hear you about being so tired. I hate that depression does that to us. It makes it so hard to actually do things that could make us feel at least a tiny bit better. I am finding it abosluetly impossible to read these days and that is hard because I love to read....Hopefully this will lift for you soon.

With depression comes guilt. A lot of it. Don't blame yourself for needing the time away from work right now; you need it. And it sounds like your previous job was really unhealthy for you mentally so I say good for you for realizing that. And when you are feeling this way, housecleaning even one room is overwhelming and then I find the kitchen and bathrooms even more overwhelming....Take things slow; you aren't feeling well, so give yourself some breaks. You are not alone in this at all. We are here, so keep us posted.

Take special care of yourself,
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 12 mg/day, Mirapex 1.5mg/day, Lamictal 400mg/day

red lightening
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 6/24/2010 5:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Happy and Mogli,,,
It feels so good to have the support here. I appreciate your comments...thank you.
I am so glad I don't have to go to that horrible job today. I feel guilty at the same time
even though it destroyed my health and triggered a depressive episode. I'm just going
to take my new meds, rest, hang out here on the board and generally try to get better.
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