I have to say, you guys made me laugh with your unanimous "stay in bed" thoughts. I of course, have been doing laundry and crocheting (trying to finish my afghan for my Mom to see). I really agreed with your thoughts of just spending that time in bed, and it's only 3pm so I may take a nap shortly....It just made me laugh "out loud" that you all thought the same thing! So thank you for the laugh.
We sure do know each other and what our needs are. Before you all even posted for me to just take it easy, I said the same thing to myself. And laundry, although a task, sometimes just makes me feel better (weird I know).
What I really want is to be outside today but the weather outside is beyond hot and humid. One of those heat waves that you just really aren't comfortable to sit outside; and of course to watch those meds in the sun!
So I am in the house in the central air. I really do count my blessings. I recall being in college and not having air conditioning and the summers in the city being so hot...I remember Mogli (my cat) was just a little kitten and I felt so bad for the heat in our apartment.
It truly is moment to moment for me right now. Just a few minutes ago, I was feeling extremely untsable, as I was this morning, and now after taking a clonazepam and drinking water, having a few slices of cheese with crackers....I am able to cope.
Bf has been drinking today. He does that on the weekends; and I like to as well, sometimes. Not to get drunk, but to unwind. It's hard when he does, because that makes me want to have a glass of wine....But I have been trying my best to be strict with myself about
it because right now it needs to be zero tolerance.
I have a pdoc appointment this Wednesday and counselling later that day as well. It is NEEDED! Pdoc is going to have to do something about
this depression. The Mirapex is not helping at all. And since it was so recent that I cycled on the last antidepressant, that won't be an option. So I'll have to research another option, although I have tried EVERYTHING. Topamax, Abilify, Seroquel, Risperidone, ....my mind just went blank. The only med I have not tried is Lithium and I just draw the line with that one.
Anyway, thanks again for reading. I am glad I am better for the moment. Here is my thoughts are cycling: I am usually greatful for it because the ups are a break from the lows.
I will try the tea tonight for sure. And thank you all for the hugs and prayers. It means a lot.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 12 mg/day, Mirapex 1.5mg/day, Lamictal 400mg/day