My life is a mess

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 7/7/2010 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
I was eating dinner with my family. i'm not in the greatest of all moods and my dad's new wife starts asking me if i called my psychiatrist today again or not to talk to him about cutting my dose IN HALF. IN HALF! IN HALF?>??????? so i tell her i don't want to cut my dose in half and that it's none of her business and i am 18 now and i want to deal with my own treatment and i did not ask for their help or opinion and it starts this big fight at the table and i of course have a mood swing and i am screaming at her and trying to not throw my plate at the wall and i storm upstairs and pack both of my suitcases and i am going downstairs to tell them that i am fed up and that i am leaving and my dad and her have both left, i heard their car peel out in the street and drive away.

i am going crazy. i waited a year and a half to go back to therapy because when i was under 18 my mom tried to involve herself in all of my therapy sessions and everything and i was so happy to get that off my back and finally trust my psychiatrist and therapist and now my dad is calling my psychiatrist behind my back to have chats with him and every day they want to talk to me about my treatment because 'i dont seem happy' and i'm sorry but i cannot deal with it. this is my life, my treatment, and the nerve of them to insist i should cut my dose in half because it would be 'good for me' when even if i take 200mg instead of 300mg it doesn't work and i have mood swings.

i really need to talk to someone right now because i am having a very very dangerous mood swing and i am very upset and i don't have health insurance so i cannot go to the hospital and i am really scared. this is such a bad night and my boyfriend is out with his guy friends and i can't bear to call him and interrupt i ruin his day enough when he is home
"crazy" french girl with bipolar II

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 181
   Posted 7/7/2010 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
hi voix,
it sounds like you're under a lot of stress.
they really shouldn't mess wiht your therapy and your meds. at least hes talking to the psych not the therapist!! well i'm sure the therapist wouldnt disclose becuz of confidnetiality... any way..

keep posting til you feel better, OK?
don't hesitate to call the helpline if you think you need it.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/7/2010 8:23 PM (GMT -7)   

hi crazy french girl  :)  Are you in the USA?  Over 18?  Then your psychiatrist can't share information with anyone that you haven't signed a release for and you can revoke a release at any time.  What are you rights.

Keep posting dear!  Call a helpline!  I'll meet you on chat here.  Stay safe!

Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/8/2010 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Voix. It sounds like your father and stepmother are really going WAY over the line. Why do they want your meds dosage cut? It's hard enough to do well on the dosage one is on, let alone on a smaller dosage. Geeeeez. And there is indeed confidentiality between you and your doctor; make sure to emphasize to your doctor that you do NOT want anything you say to him/her revealed to anyone else. Sign a new confidentiality agreement, if need be.

Maybe your stepmother thinks she's being positive. Maybe what she THINKS she's saying is, "You're doing so well that I think you could easily get by on less medication." But then again, we'd just be second-guessing to try to figure out what she's thinking. She has no idea of what you're going through. Even the best-informed person has difficulty comprehending BP, and she doesn't sound very well informed. My sympathies to you.

Are there any regular chats for this group? I think Tortoise has a good idea about chatting here. Maybe we could get together and talk.

And I think Tortoise has another excellent idea: Call a helpline. I don't know what size city/town you live in, but many places do have helplines. My town does. Give that a try. The people on the helpline are well trained and often can be extremely helpful. You don't have to go through this suffering alone.

Hugs to you,
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Lexapro, 5 mg; Mirapex, 2.5 mg; Topamax, 50 mg

red lightening
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 7/8/2010 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Voix...hope things have improved at your home.
I can't add anything to the pearls of wisdom already
said here except "this too shall pass." Know that you are
loved here and this is a safe place and a sorrow shared
is only half a sorrow. Hugs!

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 7/8/2010 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Things are a little better this morning.. I haven't talked to my father or his wife today. just locked myself up in my room..
i'm really angry at my psychiatrist because he did speak to my father about my treatment and i did not want him to talk to my father period..
yes i am in the USA right now and i hate it here.
i honestly think part of the food here is what makes me so sensitive. when i am in france i can eat bread and cheese and drink lots of wine and have no problems but here the food is all bad and all over-processed and never fresh. i can't afford to buy fresh. i hate it.
"crazy" french girl with bipolar II

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