First I want to say, good for you for coming on here and admitting about the pills, money etc. And it's also a good thing you came clean with your bf about it all. It probably hurts when he says you are not the priority; but look at it as the kids are the priority. Even though you have to take care of yourself now, you are not only doing this for yourself. You are probably doing it for your kids number 1!
Remind yourself how important it is for you to stay away from the drinking and the the drugs. Remind yourself of the feeling it brought, of ruining your entire life. Write that letter Tortoise suggested. Remind yourself of the things you do want and need in your life and how staying away from the drinking and the drugs will help you get those things.
Best of luck with work; remember how it can bring such stability to your life. Being around other people. Having some sort of routine. It helps in my opinion (as long as it's not a super stressful environment)
DO take the advice of taking this all very slowly--one day, one hour...etc. It is vital right now that you do that.
I am glad that you have an appointment. And it's true what havana said, that your life is NOT over at all....You have realized what is going on around you. That is a huge step. You can get through this. You can be as healthy as you want to be; it takes work, but it's worth it.
Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way,
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----