Welcome to HW. I am sorry you are going through (and have been going through) such a hard time. Thank-you for your empathy, we don't take that lightly. It means a lot.
Getting the right diagnosis is definitely the first step. You can't really get the right treatment if you don't know what you're treating; so I know that frustration.
She definitely needs to keep a mood chart (search for them online). It's imperative that she is keeping track of how she is feeling. Writing and some talk therapy should really go a long way as well.
I know you are hurting through this. However, I can tell you that you are doing the right thing in being so supportive. Just remember to also look out for yourself.
You are both in my thoughts and I hope things start to settle soon.
Keep us updated,
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----