jbauls, i wanted to share with you something that i have been thinking about your situation. Its a few thoughts so please bear with me.
Thought number 1, I have been where you are sir, i know the pain you are going thru. When my wife found out about my multipal affairs she hit the roof (cant say i blame her) She was so upset that she attacked me with a corkscrew and came darn close to my carotid arterly. (bad spelling today, sorry) Of course both of us wanted a divorce right away. We hated each other and blamed each other for what happened. But instead of moving out and burning down the village (so to speak) my wife and i decided to hang together long enough to see if the meds and therpay would have an effect. And over weeks, months, and now years it has. Yesterday i celebrated my birthday with my wife and we had a fantastic day, and i wouldnt have had that had she and i just bailed out and quit right there. It wasnt easy, it was lots of tears, lots of hurt feelings, lots of life changes, and in a way, lots of reinventing who and what i was. But we made it and we did it. And looking back, it was all worth all the effort.
Thought number 2. Two of my jobs are high stress, 100% mistake free or someone gets hurt or loses a life type jobs. Both of these (firefighter and LP Detective) we learn and also teach that sometimes you have to slow way down to do something right. That there are times when speed really does kill. ANd when it is all freaking out, when your world is on fire and everything is about to end, the hardest thing to do is to slow down, and make sure that what you do is the right thing. Sometimes the knee jerk reaction will save your life, often it will get you killed. (in my line of work)
I' m just saying i know you are in a world of hurt right now, and it seems like this pain will never go away. But it does and it will. And you rwife could get better with the meds and treatment. She is going to have to come to grips with this desease just as you are, and her brian isnt exactly working right right now is it? I'm just trying to help you not make a decision that you may regret in a few months or years. We do get better, we can lead normal lives and have normal monogamous relationships. BP isnt an automatic death sentance to her chances of leading a successful and normal life.
Again i will keep you and your family in my thoughts today.