Hey tortise, have i ever told you how jelous i am of you? I have seen your paintings of your rabbits and they are fantastic. Something that i coul d never do because i just dont have it in me. There are things that i "wish" i could do or be, i have learned that i just am never going to be that guy.
In the long run i have to say that acceptance is what has given me great peace. I accept that this is who and what i am. I accept that in treating this desease i may never create again like i did when i was manic. I accept that in order to ever have a successful relationship with a woman i will need to be medicated the rest of my life.
In short i look at things now and give thanks for what i have, not what i dont. I have seen over and over again at the firehouse how quickly our lives can end, or be changed forever. I no longer look at a great bicycle and wish i had 5000 to buy it, instead i am thankful for the really nice 2000 dollar one i have.
And whats wrong with being the best wife a guy has ever had? In my honest opinion that is a noble goal just the same as if you were trying to be the best brain surgen the world had ever known. Being the best is being the best. Plain and simple.
Lots and hugs for you tortise.
"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill
Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.