trip went okay...

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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 8/2/2010 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
however the bus and train ride home were a disaster... 0 hours of sleep and two panic attacks later, i am having such a bad mood swing that i just broke up with my boyfriend calling him a selfish ****** because he said he wanted a kindle.. also blurted out that i hated him and that i regretted buying him all these surprise gifts i got him in the city.. i feel like absolute crap now. cry
"crazy" french girl with bipolar II

happy bill
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 8/2/2010 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   


  Darn, sorry about that viox. I understand those darn black mood swings, they are the worst.  how are your meds working? Or are you on them at all right now? I get those same feelings but they are much more bearable and controlable.


   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 8/2/2010 3:42 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know what to do. I want to make amends with my boyfriend but I still feel the same way I did when I broke up with him, only now I can't stop crying.
my meds aren't working because I was bad and stayed out all night every night I was in the city so instead of taking them at 8:30pm i took them around midnight/1am and it's all catching up to me now and I'm completely breaking down.
"crazy" french girl with bipolar II

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/2/2010 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh voix,

I hear you. I get off track of my meds on weekends and when I'm not at work....anytime I'm away from that routine it makes it difficult.

Just breathe; really...take some deep breaths, in and out slow and deep, in and out slow and deep....

You know what you're up against. You know what brought this on, so now you just have to take things one step at a time to get back on track and you can do it. Hold off on making decisions about bf until you are back on routine meds and you're feeling better....

Do you have anixety medication? I have clonazepam to take for panic/anxiety attacks. I notice I use more of it when I'm off track.

Hang in there, we are here for you. I'll check in on ya tomorrow.

Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----
Seroquel 50mg/night

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 8/2/2010 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Do you want to be together again with your boyfriend? I thought you just posted last week or so that you wanted out of the relationship?
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 8/3/2010 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I am always having a mood when I don't want to be with my boyfriend... he sent me a message last night:
"I'm sorry about the fight earlier and how it ended. what you said really hurt my feelings and i just started to say things. Maybe you meant everything you said i dont know but im still sorry regardless. "

we are back together.. I just feel really crappy. I really would love to add an anxiety medication into the mix because the seroquel alone prevents the majority of mood swings but when I do have them they are always really bad ones.. yesterday morning I locked myself in a bathroom stall in the train station and cried for so long I could barely breathe and I couldn't move and I just sat there and I'm sure a lot of people heard me..
I tried to bring it up to my psychiatrist but I haven't seen him in months.. he thought the seroquel would cure all my anxiety/panic attacks and it has helped a lot but it's the only thing that hasn't been perfect.
i know my medication isn't working perfectly when I start getting really anxious.. ocd like symptoms, have to check every single minute opening my purse to make sure my wallet and cellphone haven't somehow fallen out, that sort of thing.

I finally got health insurance again yesterday, my step-dad was able to put me back on the same insurance I was on previously, only we're not sure if I can still see my psychiatrist because it's now tricare standard/prime? instead of reserve because he is going on active duty in the air force in two months. but it's okay as he's a new psychiatrist and i'm not attached to him at all.. i just think he knows his medication really well considering he put me on one our first meeting that has almost 'cured' me and that is something none of my other ones could do for years.
"crazy" french girl with bipolar II
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