Well story time. Today my wife found out she got a new job and we went out to celebrate. She had a few drings on an empty stomach and then proceeded to tell me how bad it was being married to me beacuse of my food issues (i am very picky). After bereating me awhile with that she stopped and i was in a pissed mood and decided not to say a thing so as to not make it worse. I drop her off at home and go to work.
She texts me a little later and tells me i should sleep in the middle room for a while since i have treated her so bad while she was unemployed. And that it was unacceptable that i told my mom that she got a job, and that i wasnt ever home to help out. And it true, i work between 80-90 hours a week to support the family, sorry that i cant be home to do the dishes and laundry also. And telling my mom that my wife got a job was bad? SHe never talks to my mom so i let my mom know that things were getting better around here financially.
SO then to make things worse she pulles up a program to search out ever email i have wrtten, and yes, 2 months ago during a mania attack i emailed a girl about sex, and that was it. I didnt follow thru, i realized what i was doing and called my doctor and took extra meds. I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE.
So she flipped out, and i understand and respect that. But she was spoiling for a fight all day. SHe is so very unhappy but will not talk to me, or her therpast,, or anyone. ALl she wants is more meds, xanex especially. Her belief is that you should be so medicated that you dont feel a thing.
SO after destroying some of my stuff,a nd threating me with a knife, and calling my family to tell them how aweful i am i am out of the house for tonight. I am going to a motel, and i have base tommrrow night for a 24 hour shift, and then sunday i will see what i want to do.
Honestly i want out. Have for a while. I am going to stop paying the morgage and just move into an apartment and be done with it. All i need is my cats, a pillow on the floor and thats about it. My PDoc felt that when i had my mania it was great that i recoginized it and got help before it got to far. My wife feels that any failure is grounds for not being with me anymore. So fine, i will get my stuff and move on.
Ok, vent over. If this is to be then i am at peace with that.
"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill
Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.