Believed bipolar disorder?

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Aaron R.
New Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/17/2010 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I am a 25 yr old male married to a 30 yr old female with two children. We have been married twice. We got together when i was 18 (out of school), and married and divorced by the time i was 21. She initiated the divorce saying she wasnt happy...that i was lazy (worked nights), and she just wasnt happy anymore. I think the bars helped her with this decision. During our divorce we only talked about the children...never about getting back together. 
Well, around the time i turned 22 we were back together and as happy as ever. It came out of day not together then all of a sudden back together. It was great at first...then its not...then it gets better...then it goes bad...then it gets better....etc. but never back to the way it was when we first got back together.
Now that i am dont telling you a little history here comes my problem. I think my wife have a physcological disorder.
My wife goes through stages. My wife has never been overly talkative and somewhat of a hermit. But she goes through stages where she really doesnt talk and is somewhat of a loner and a B na na. Over some time when she goes through the noticable stages i will approach her and ask her if she is happy with life (me in general). She will tell me no. I ask why? She says that she doesnt know. She tells me that i should know she has always been like that. She figures she just isnt a relationship kind of person. Then she shuts me down with the convo and says she is done talking. Then over the next day or so she says that she still isnt happy but will be fine. Its like she knows she is going through a stage. Then over some time it will seem to repair itself. But low and behold it will happen again. Whether it be a short period of time or long period. When she goes through these stages she will even snap at kids, and want to be left alone. She also goes through times of irritablitly, anger with myself and kids. Its almost like she cant handle it. I know she has had anxiety and depression disorders diagnosed in the past. She is currently taking Vyvanse (ADD) MEDS. But she isnt taking anything for the other...she has taken lexapro in the past. I think there is something greater than what docs have diagnosed her with.
Her symptoms:
Easily aggitated (by anybody...she cant be around too many people)
Dysphoria (she goes through times wher she is unhappy and doesnt know why or cant give reason)
Anger (when she is angry watch out...she will say physical harm)
Doesnt like to talk about ne thing serious unless it has to do with finances. buT if it is with us she likes to avoid it. she will even do it when we talk about finances if she is stressed whn i approach her)
(She has said on occasions she wish she would crash into a bridge and dies...especially when a serious convo is taking place)
any others anybody can think about that people with phyc disorders have? might be leaving a few out. i dont document it so its hard to go by memory.
She has had family members with depression. Her grandfather, and her uncle (commited suicide over a divorce) And her mom carries the same traits as she does but has calmed down with age from what i can gather from my wifes dad. Her dad has even told me she has always been a little on the wierd side.
Again she has always went through the stages since i have known her. When i tlk to her bro (my best friend...they didnt live together as children he was raised by dad ) he always says "dude she has always been like that...she is crazy."
I love my wife. But it seems like the stages of aggitation, irritablity, and depression seem to take a toll on our family. We are going through one now. I finally got her to admit she was unhappy last night. Then me being the talker i am...i ask her why, what she wants to do about it, etc...
She then says she doesnt want a divorce, that its not me, but it is partly me...her life...the kids...the pressure...etc. And if this wife feels no remorse. Even if she is wrong and is proved otherwise she will not admit it. She can sometimes act like a child when she goes through the stages.
Sorry so long. I know the post doesnt flow very well but hopefully you can make sense of it.  Someone that knows a little bout what i am going through please comment. I will answer any details i have left out.

horse crazy
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 8/19/2010 12:26 AM (GMT -7)   
You need tp get her to a pdoc for an evaluation and possibly meds.  Sounds at the very least she is depressed.  I noticed in your descriptions that she seems to swing in the depression, like lots of depression to not so depressed.  I did not read much about her having happy times which would occur more with bipolar.  However, to complicate things, the irritibility can be seen in depression or mania.  Seriously,  you need a professional to diagnose her.  I agree that she has a psychological problem.  She would feel a lot better about herself if she could be consistant with the kids and you.
I know it can be confusing for you and it is hard when you don't know how to help, etc. The time being, just be there for her, let her know you support her and want her to get help.  Don't pressure her to talk, but let her know if she needs to talk you are there for her.  I know when I am at the depressed side of things, I do want to isolate and not talk, but I also know that my family is there in a heartbeat if I need them, and that is very comforting to know they care even though I seem to reject their efforts.  And they know their limitatons in helping me, and when the best way they   can help is get me to the pdoc.
It is important that you have a support person for you.  This forum is a help, but qould be good if you had a family member or buddy who will offer to listen to your confusion and frustration.  Taking care of yourself, will help her .
I don't know if this makes is rather late at night.  These things seem to have a way of working out...omce my husband let go of trying to change me, and became a support partner and no longer personalized my moods, we have managed to muddle thru things, but we have always had professional help to guide us.
Horse Crazy
Bi-polar I; rapid cycler; Lithium 600
Methadone 5mg (for restless leg syndrome) Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg
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