Treasure every precious moment when she is "with" you. It's hard for you because once she is over the mood, she is OVER it. It's gone. She may not remember it. YOU remember it.
Live in the moment. Don't hold resentment against her. Yes, you must protect yourself. Withdraw during the rage. Crash with a friend if you have to.
BTW - holding her tightly during a rage will probably work. It's one thing my ex-husband would do that I miss - my fiance doesn't. (I haven't asked him to). I would fight him for a few seconds and then fall apart crying - a good sign - the rage has passed.
So why does it work? It is "deep pressure therapy" which is amazingly powerful. And so simple. Every once in a while my fiance and I will be goofing around and playing with my son and end up lying on top of one another on the couch. I love feeling the pressure of 200+ pounds squeezing my body. So relaxing, calming. I had a service dog trained to perform deep pressure therapy. I am training another service dog now and we're working on that. It works for rage, anxiety, panic... Love it.
Plus it is a very sweet, protective gesture.
It might seem awkward or strange to you, but try it at the BEGINNING of when you think she might go into a rage. These moods can be calmed at the very beginning, but in full swing ... that's totally different. If she is safe, leave. If not safe, call the police. and then leave.