My job at the hospital has done a complete 360 since I started almost a year ago last September. When I started, I literally watched the clock tick for my 8 hour shift. All my pdocs were new to the hospital, so things were slow at first. Now, I am so busy, but my illness is making things so extremely difficult right now with regards to work.
I am really in agony getting up and getting ready in the mornings (and I was dealing with this before the Seroquel). The depression just wants me to stay in bed at least until noon, and then maybe I could function. So that is one thing. The other thing: Working for THREE psychiatrists is all about balance and prioritizing. It's critical that I am totally organized, because it is my job to keep them organized. I am lucky one out of my three is only here two days a week, but I do have a workload for all of them.
My main problem with this is, the depression of course is affecting my energy. I am feeling fatigue, not triedness. My motivation is not there and I am finding it almost impossible to concentrate on one thing for more than 20 minutes or less. This is NOT good. I need to be getting things done each day; not pushing them aside until "the next day". Basically I have always been a very organized, professional person, but all the stress I'm under and with the depression intensifying is really affecting my ability to do a good job. And I'm not okay with it.
My one pdoc boss is aware of my bp; I will not share it with the other two even though they are just as wonderful. I know if the one who knows, knew how much I was struggling, she would insist I take a leave. I don't want to do this for several reasons. Our department is moving to another building on our campus in a month, so I need to be here for that (before, during and after) and I just don't feel comfortable taking a leave at this point. Although it would give me time to rest, cope and get better, I would be dealing with anxiety and guilt over being away from my job; probably constantly worrying about losing my dream career.
So what do I do? How can I stay on track and get work done??? I need my concentration. I need to be here and get work done!
What jobs do you guys have and how to you get through each day with some sort of production?
(seeing my pdoc in 3 weeks)
Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks
Meds-Lamictal 300 mg, Seroquel XR 100 mg, Clonazepam .5mg as needed