He's off his meds

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/4/2010 5:02 AM (GMT -7)   
I've been married to my husband for almost 14 years now, we were together 5 years before that.  He was diagnosed Bipolar 1 after our daughter was born in 1998.  He's tried lithium which didn't work, and Lamictal most recently, along with an antidepressant, I'm not sure which one,which made his moods more stable, but he never was very happy or easy going.  Anyway, we don't have health insurance, and we just can't afford the Lamictal, so he's decided to stop taking it.  Things have been getting gradually rougher, with last night being the worst.  He's stressed, angry, mean with his words, and last night he wanted to be intimate with me in a way that I don't want.  So he ended up sleeping on the couch.
I always end up feeling like the bad guy when things like this happen, which hasn't happened in a long time, because of the meds I'm sure.  I feel like I'm to blame for his anger and even though I know he's bipolar, I can't help feeling the way I do.  This was a cycle we went through many times early in our relationship, and for as long as we've been together, it isn't any different now than it was then.  How do I believe that it's him, not me, which I know it is.  I feel guilty, afraid, like I'm walking on eggshells, and I'm worried for my kids, who are 12 and 8 and don't understand this at all.  Does anyone else go through this, or have any suggestions for me?  Thanks so much everyone.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/4/2010 5:33 AM (GMT -7)   
First and foremost you have to protect your children, yourself, and your hubby.  I know you are worried about them, but if I know women perhaps you might be minimizing what is going on in the hope of protecting your marriage/spouse/children/etc. So please if you feel that you, your children, or your hubby are of danger to others or themselves then it is time to get professional help.

Ok with the legal issues out of the way, being off meds is not exactly the best option for anyone. If you are located in the US, even if you cannot afford it, you might have community resources for helping getting him meds and etc. Because this has to not only effect him, but also you and your children so you all need resources as well. It might help to know what state you are in and your closest large city?
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 9/5/2010 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   
The maker of Lamictal has a program for people that have a hard time paying for medications. You pay $10 and get a year's supply free.

I can't keep a job. I live with my fiance who supports me. Because I have a son, the state pays for my health care. EVERYTHING! Medications, medication management, hospitalizations. I don't have a premium or copay on Dr's because I have no earned income.

In fact, we may not get married because his health insurance is so expensive that he only gets major-medical-insurance, and my treatment cost is high.

My medications are about $500 per month now, and have been as high as $800-900 per month earlier this year. My copay is $10 per $100 of medication. I've paid $5 for meds this month.

I remember feeling so HELPLESS, but if you know where to look, there is almost always a way.

If you feel safe sharing your state and county, and what medications he (should be) on, we'd be happy to help you look for resources to get affordable care.
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Depakote, Abilify - FAIL; Seroquel - Epic Fail
Lamictal 200mg, Klonopin 0.5mg as needed, starting Seroquel XR 50mg soon

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 9/7/2010 4:01 AM (GMT -7)   
We've actually tried to get help from the makers of Lamictal.  Because we both work, they say we make too much money to get any help from them.  They won't take into consideration the amount of our medicines (my asthma meds are also $200/month, but I'm not using mine like I should either).  Our kids are covered by the state, but we make too much money for us to qualify.  And when I say we make too much money, we barely make enough to get by, pretty much paycheck to paycheck, and we don't have credit cards, expensive cars or home, etc.  We live in Wood County, Wisconsin, and he is on 300mg Lamotrigine / day, and 25mg Sertraline / day.  I really appreciate any help I can get, and I'm so glad I've found this site.  I've tried to handle this by myself for so long, it's so nice to even just talk about things, since none of my friends / family understand what this is like.  Thank you!
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