I've posted in a different thread and in my blog, but before I post what I came here to write, I need to update on my last post: I was DANGEROUSLY suicidal and had absolutely no idea until it was over. But it IS over, so moving on...
My fiance and I talked and he was upset with me because he thought is was a placebo effect (all in my head) rather than a real side effect of the Seroquel XR.
I've been fighting elevated moods and feel I need to get started on this stuff. I suggested that a crash with a friends for a few days while I start it. He sort of laughed at that as excessive and unrealistic.
I have zinc supplements that are the same size and shape pill as a the Seroquel XR. I closed my eyes and he gave me either the Seroquel XR or the zinc. I was thinking it was a good idea: either I would not longer have the placebo effect, it's still miserable even if it's just all in my head, or he wouldn't be upset with me because whatever I experience would be a true side effect and he couldn't be upset with me thinking that I'm faking it or having a placebo effect.
But, now that we've done it, I'm having huge anxiety about it. I lost my balance for a moment in the kitchen and he teases me, "How's that zinc treating you?" (grrrr...)
I am SO tired. But I was tired before I took whatever-it-is. My balance and concentration are off, I'm feeling occassionally dizzy/stumbly. Which could simply be from the ANXIETY over which pill I have, if what I'm experiencing is real or not.
Here's what I get:
a) If he gave me the zinc, he teases me for life about the placebo effect. He has no idea how much that would hurt me and dissolve the trust I have in him.
b) If he gave me the Seroquel XR, and I suck it up so I don't embarass myself if it isn't the Seroquel XR, then he'll always tell me to "suck it up," and any reaction I have in the future to a medication he will attribute to the placebo affect.
Either way, I lose. And right now my stomach is a little anxious knot because of it.