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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 9/12/2010 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
So I guess i will start by saying hi to everyone.This is the first time I have gotten on an online chat. I just need someone to talk to sometimes, maybe someone a little more like me who can somewhat understand my problems without having to gain trust.I have rapid cycling bipolar. At the moment i am depressed for the 7th day in a row but it is getting better. I'm able to type and i think i might get mania soon.My life is very difficult. I don't take medication or get therapy. I would love to get therapy, but at the moment my car is broken down. I feel as if they would look down on me also.My mom denies my condition. She thinks its all in my head and i can control it by thinking positively but that is so not true.My dad doesn't know about it. I had a psychiatrist tell me and I never went back.I didn't trust him. I think i went into denial or something. That was about 2 and a half years ago.My mom took me for years and she would always get mad at me because it didn't help but it was because I wouldn't be honest with them and I will explain why later.Another reason was because before this last guy I went to told me about my condition, Everyone said I had add and depression and the meds never worked and I understand why now.Me being bipolar with no help is only the beginning of my problems, but this is all i will say for now.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 9/12/2010 10:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wolflover. This is the first online forum I've ever been on too. I've also got bipolar II rapid cycling and mixed episodes. Just wanted to say I understand about the parents thing. I'm 31 and for some reason my mother still can't talk about this stuff.....maybe it's easier that way. Honestly, get some therapy and some meds. I'm only recently diagnosed bipolar and I KNOW I can't do this on my own!!!
Good luck!

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 9/13/2010 4:18 AM (GMT -7)   


  Hi to both of you, and yes, im not surprised you went into denial. No one ever wants to hear that they have a mental illness, i was 40 when i was diagnosed and it took all my coping skills, and efforts to come to grips with that fact. But once i accepted that and got help my life has improved a huge amount.

   Now i have to take something to control my manias, depression isnt so much of a problem for me. Now does the medication take away everything? No. I still have to fight the urges to do bad/stupid things. However with the meds i have a fighting chance to keep control of my mind, and thats more than i had before i started my meds.

   Now are there side effects to meds, yes. In my case there is weight gain and hair loss. But i can honestly say that  is a small price to pay for gaining control of my mind.

   I have made this a subject that my family has had to deal with. They wanted to deny it at first, but i stuck to it and told them it was the right diagnosis. Since then they have come to grips with it.

   Hang in there and keep posting. This site is filled with lots of great supportive people, there is lots  of great info they have to share.


"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"

"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill

Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 9/13/2010 6:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wolf! I started having episode whan I was about 7 years old. My parents knew something was wrong but they always though it was a "phase" or that I was "acting out", "trying to get attention", or "putting on a performance."

After I starting seeking treatment - 19 years old - it took 7 more years to get diagnosed.

My parents finally are being accepting. They check in and see if I'm OK if they haven't heard from me. Still no apologies on how they treated me before. Sort of unspoken.

Anyways - do you mind me asking how old you are?

And are you getting treatment or meds? You DO know that rapid-cycling gets more rapid and more intense if it is left untreated?

Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Depakote, Abilify - FAIL; Seroquel - Epic Fail
Lamictal 200mg, Klonopin 0.5mg as needed, starting Seroquel XR 50mg soon

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 9/13/2010 7:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there. I understand about the denial, I went through it for years. I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1 three times before I FINALLY accepted it and started treatment. My brother is also Bipolar, so that has helped with my family understand things, but my husband and his family are very much in denial and arrogant about everything. All you can do is ask for your family to help you through this, but you HAVE to get treatment. I learned that the hard way and nearly had my daughter taken away from me because my moods just got worse over the years. My family finally said get treatment or she's ours. I got treatment and it has helped so much. You never realize just hoe bad things are until they start getting better. Then, you look back and go wow, I really needed this and things ARE sooooo much better. Therapy is almost essential along with medication. The meds are a bit of a pain in the butt when you first start them, but once you and your doc find something that works, it's all worth it. Hopefully your family comes around soon. I also go through some rapid cycling, but mainly mixed episodes or full on mania and depression. There are MANY people on here that had been misdiagnosed, it seems to be pretty common. I know I was for years, especially in my teen years. Best of luck to you hun.
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
Anxiety Disorder

happy bill
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 9/13/2010 11:25 AM (GMT -7)   


  Hey wolfover, i did  a quick edit of your post because of the description of the sucide attempt. Unfortunally we cant have descriptions here cause we have young viewers. No harm, no foul.

  Now my soon to be exwife is all very controling, abusive, and violent also. I stuck it out for 11 years and it only becomes worse with time. I have left her and despite all the hardship of the last month, I FEEL 1000 % BETTER.  There are people who are good for us and poeple who are bad for us, and yes, we are normally drawn to what is bad for us. 

   I also contain a huge rage, which i work very very hard to control. Medication helps alot, as does living a "happy" lifestyle. But in the end you have to get help, if you don't between the two of you this could end badly. And by badly you know what i mean.

  Keep posting and we will try and help you out as much as we can. But in the end meds and real therpey are two things that can lead to a much happier and fulfilling life.


"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"

"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill

Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
k, thanks....oops about the suicide thing.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/13/2010 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I am very concerned. I just read your post and I would like you to see the resources I put on lindzkay's post, and a place to start is
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
If you know someone whom you think is being abused - a friend, family member, co-worker, client, patient or parishioner - please consider contacting one of the agencies listed below to discuss ways to safely help them.

Common Ground Sanctuary
Toll Free


Toll Free


Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 9/13/2010 5:01:47 PM (GMT-6)

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