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My wife is filing for divorce, after I confronted her with the possibility of her having BP.

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Bipolar Disorder
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concernhusband
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 8
Posted 1/9/2011 7:50 AM (GMT -7)
hello all,

I'm new to this forum. I will get to the point of my dilemma.
A couple of weeks ago I began a thorough researching on BP, as my wife whom I suspected for sometime now, has displayed most, if not all the symptoms of BP. She recently threaten to divorce me, for she says that I'm very abusive to her. If anything, she is very controlling and abusive towards me. She has gone as far as making up lies about me that simply isn't true. She is on her way home from Iraq, she stated that she would call the police and tell them that I abused her, and that she is fearful of me, that she may have cause to evict me. what is going on....what should I do!

ConcernHusband,
Thank you
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MMMNAVY
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 6927
Posted 1/9/2011 8:17 AM (GMT -7)
What do you think you should do?

Is it possible that you are mistaking the signs of PTSD for bipolar, the emotional extremes are very similiar.

I do want to make this caveat if you feel you are in danger, then get out now.

If you want to maintain contact then do it in a safe manner.

I also think that this post might be deleted as it does not come from someone who suffers from bipolar and this is a forum that is for those who suffer from bipolar.

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concernhusband
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 8
Posted 1/9/2011 12:17 PM (GMT -7)
Ok...I understand. However, she has displayed these symptom prior to deployment as well. This morning I was informed that she has cancelled the apartment lease.
I'm her husband, not her boyfriend. In either case, rather BP or PTSD, do you think that she filing for a divorce under the circumstances is merited?
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concernhusband
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 8
Posted 1/9/2011 12:18 PM (GMT -7)
Do you think it's normal?
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SnowyLynne
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Joined : Apr 2004
Posts : 1539
Posted 1/9/2011 12:56 PM (GMT -7)
How can you be abusive if shes been in Irac??
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MMMNAVY
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 6927
Posted 1/9/2011 3:29 PM (GMT -7)
Whatever you do I think you need to protect yourself and that means avoid even the appearence of anything bad.

It sounds to me like you need a safe space away from her. At the very least get (temp.) lodgings and protect yourself, and her if you can, while you figure out what is going on. As you said she is on her way home, so something is going to happen when she gets home.

I get that you are her husband, but I do not have her side of the story here.
Like I said if you feel you are in danger then get out.
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concernhusband
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 8
Posted 1/9/2011 4:32 PM (GMT -7)

SnowyLynne said...
How can you be abusive if shes been in Irac??


As we only communicate by instant messager, she stated that my words are abusive. Example: implying that she has the symptoms of BP. So she tells me, that I need to see a doctor, because I'm crazy to suggest such a thing. Her many word prior to confronting her regarding BP, has been very abusive. In fact, she is not truthful in her speech once she feel violated.
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concernhusband
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 8
Posted 1/9/2011 4:40 PM (GMT -7)

MMMNAVY said...
Whatever you do I think you need to protect yourself and that means avoid even the appearence of anything bad.

It sounds to me like you need a safe space away from her. At the very least get (temp.) lodgings and protect yourself, and her if you can, while you figure out what is going on. As you said she is on her way home, so something is going to happen when she gets home.

I get that you are her husband, but I do not have her side of the story here.
Like I said if you feel you are in danger then get out.


Well, she came in today with the police, in order to retrieve her Items.
Unbelievable....I'm lost for words. The police found no harm done. She basically told them that I would not allow her to leave the apartment or the marriage. I'm crushed. I guess she wasn't kidding about filing a divorce. The hardest part is, I was willing to love her regardless of a diagnose finding. Thank you for your kind words, MMMNAVY... God bless
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concernhusband
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 8
Posted 1/9/2011 4:44 PM (GMT -7)
As we only communicate by instant messager, she stated that my words are abusive. Example: implying that she has the symptoms of BP. So she tells me, that I need to see a doctor, because I'm crazy to suggest such a thing. Her many word prior to confronting her regarding BP, has been very abusive. In fact, she is not truthful in her speech once she feel violated.

Well, she came in today with the police, in order to retrieve her Items.
Unbelievable....I'm lost for words. The police found no harm done. She basically told them that I would not allow her to leave the apartment or the marriage. I'm crushed. I guess she wasn't kidding about filing a divorce. The hardest part is, I was willing to love her regardless of a diagnose finding. Thank you for your kind words, MMMNAVY... God bless
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SoSickAndTired
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 226
Posted 1/9/2011 8:48 PM (GMT -7)
if she is bi polar, she's completely manic right now
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MMMNAVY
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 6927
Posted 1/9/2011 8:57 PM (GMT -7)
But the thing of it is one is not dx within the combat zone, that is like trying to dx someone a day after a significant person in their life dies. It just is not done, and if she is military (instead of a civilian contractor) then it would be seen as an attack as it is a career ending dx, or at the very least it is seen as unsupportive behavior. No matter how you may have intended it.
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Chez1947
New Member
Joined : Jan 2011
Posts : 4
Posted 1/10/2011 8:51 AM (GMT -7)
I think she just wants a divorce !!!!!
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happy bill
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2008
Posts : 1132
Posted 1/11/2011 8:35 AM (GMT -7)

 In the end, unless she accepts that she has a problem, it wont get better. She is well and truely lost to you until she accepts that she has a problem and gets the help it will take to get her better. However many people will not accept that, that they are fine and the world is wrong. Those people are and will be lost in the woods until they finally accept the truth of the matter.

  But many will not. SOme of us have found the truth, and we will all tell you how hard it was. Many can't accept that the cause of all their problems isnt the world, its right there in the mirror.

  Bill

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