Do NOT blame yourself for this thing. No one can explain depression, and it's not a choice.
I was once an extravert and loved being out in the world, and one day, boom, I was terrified to go out of my house. Look at your family--is there any history of depression? I found out my grandmother and her sisters suffered from depression, and my parents suffered from anxiety, too.
I've discovered that exercise works wonders, but when you are sinking in depression, exercise is the last thing you want. Just take a walk. Love yourself and know that you are stronger than those awful thoughts that paralyze you. And remember--you are not alone. There are millions of us out here, struggling like you. You are loved, although you may not believe that right now. I am pulling for you.
If you feel your doctor is not helping you, find another one, someone who makes you feel safe. Use those you love as an anchor.
Forgive me for this, but maybe you should put your boyfriend on the back-burner for the time being and work on YOURSELF.
Post Edited (alphatwin) : 4/2/2013 11:55:55 AM (GMT-6)