What a weekend. I am feeling sad today because my behavior was AWFUL yesterday. Why is it that I feel the need to yell at everyone, especially my children on a Sunday???
Saturday was nice. I spent the day with my Wife and kids at a flea market. She made a little money, not much, but it was time well spent.
Then Sunday came. I spent the morning cleaning up the yard with my wife, weeding the flower beds, moving a tree. My older son started cutting the grass, and proceeded to chop up the end of one of the plastic leaf bags. I don't know what the hell came over me, but I screamed at him. Just like my dad did to me when I was a kid. Then I started feeling bad. My younger son had a friend come over. It annoyed the crap out of me. No one asked me about this kid coming over. He is loud and obnoxious to top off the fact that I just want to relax. So do I say something to the wife? No. Instead, I yell at my son and his friend every time they make too loud of a noise, or if I feel they are annoying me. It got to the point that my wife brought me a drink. (I didn't take it.)
I don't know if this is the result of my depression, my feelings of self depreciation, or if it is hypomania taking hold. All I know is that I spent the day feeling good, and spent most of it feeling bad. We went rollerblading (my son wants to play roller hockey) after dinner, and I finally had some fun again, until one of my 15 year old rollerblades broke. Any thoughts???