I'm so sorry to bother anyone with this, but I thought if I wrote it I might feel better. I'm struggling so much with my mood. Maybe if I am lucky I might have 1-possibly 2-days during the 7-day week that I'm in an okay mood. However, I have been mostly agitated, and angry. Like the anger moves to rage. I hadn't acted on that rage and have survived thru it but it hasn't been easy. Everyday I feel like I am on the edge.
I do have an awesome Psychiatrist, however she won't try any other meds right now until I start a DBT Program. She wants to see if it helps with my Borderline thought patterns. I just don't want to do this DBT right now, but I'm sure that it might help. Its a ways for me to drive, I had an ileostomy last month, and I have terrible chronic bladder pain and problems. Which all this just adds to my Bipolar thoughts.
Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself, but I just feel so defeated. I'm so tired of feeling depressed and angry. I want to feel good and happy for at least 4 days during a week.
Again I am sorry to be such a downer.
Your Healingwell Friend,
Bipolar 2, Borderline, Manic-Dep, Panic Disorder, Loop ileostomy, 2-bladder lifts (1 was from my bladder and colon falling out of my body), Vaginal Vault lift, abdominal hysterectomy, C-section followed a week later with ruptured appendix, Psuedomembraneous colitis, tumor removed from head, 4-knee surgeries, 1-shoulder surgery...too many things to list