Please help me, I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half (6 months of which he was on a deployment in Afghanistan)
when I met him he was the sweetest man in the world and didnt make it hard to fall in love with him. He fell in love with me very quickly as well.
however, 6 months into the relationship after telling me he wanted to marry me, he completely pulled back and told me he "just wasn't in the relationship anymore" you can imagine my shock and pain. I pleaded and begged him to rethink his decision and he told me it was his choice and there was nothing I could do about
it. A few days after that initial break up he called me and wanted to go out to dinner. I accepted. He then held me close and reminded me of that super loving person I fell in love with but at the end of the day he reminded me that we were still broken up... Right before his deployment he came by to say good bye and told me that he loved me but was sorry things didnt work out. A month into his deployment he started contacting me ( i was contacting him frequently only to get no response from him) and decided he missed and loved me too much to leave things the way they are. He said he was confused but never stopped loving me so we decided to start again. I supported him 150% throughout his deployment.. stayed up late emailing, answered every phone call, wrote, sent him tons of care packages etc...
When he came home he was 100% in love again and even moved in with me. Things were great for about
a month and then he started to pull away again. He would confess his undying love for me one day and then tell me to go out and ignore him because he just wanted to be alone the next. It got so bad that I didnt know what to expect when I woke up in the morning... should I walk over and kiss him good morning or will he go off on me about
wanting to be left alone? He has become verbally abusive and disrespectful and OVERREACTS about
THE SMALLEST OF THINGS!!!! ( an example of this: he got up to use the bathroom one night and saw that the cat had gone in her litter box and i didnt remove what she left... so he came to the room yelling at me to get up ... i was falling asleep and go clean it... he went on to call me dirt, disgusting and used to living in filth...so NOT TRUE!!! My place is ALWAYS clean!) He would even start to tell me that I didnt know how to be a real woman and began telling me to shut up while we were having a conversation on the phone and he was out with certain friends.
when we were out with his friends together he adored me... but then something would trigger off at home and he would find the smallest thing to argue with me about
and then threaten to break up with me.
Before breaking up with me this last time, he became very withdrawn from me (although days in between this withdrawal he would talk about
us getting married and the life we were going to have) he started focusing all his time and money into fixing his car up... rims and accessories, a paint job, etc... its almost like he became obsessed... ( he has done this in the past with other things too... guns and accessories... its like he becomes obsessed with things) we got into an argument over something petty that morning and he told me he was leaving me again and would come home to pack his stuff and leave after work. I begged him and pleaded with him not to but he said he had made up his mind and that he was no longer in the relationship anymore... those same words he said the first time.
I called him when he was on his way home and asked him if he still wanted to move out and he said yes so i packed everything for him. He told me was going to make several trips on different days to take his stuff but I couldn't deal with the torture so i told him to take everything in one trip... he did but looked at me like he hated me for it.
i tried calling the day after and was ignored.
I text him after that and told him i would still like to save the friendship and i didnt like being ignored and he responded with . i wont ignore you, if you call and I dont answer, i will call you back and told me that the friendship thing was fine with him. however, I attempted to contact him after only to continue getting ignored.
He finally decided to call me because a friend suggested we talk and his explanation to me was that he loves me but doesnt want the relationship anymore. He is tired of having to remind me to do little things around the house and is tired of me not seeing things his way.
I want him to want to come back home but I dont know what to do anymore. I just keep geting shut out. but I dont understand the random phone call with no message or response to my call back and I cant seem to understand why he would want this when I have been able to give him what other women in his past havent... stability, love, respect and he knew he could trust me.. I never cheated. I was the only girl to ever stick through his deployments and his family, coworkers and friends adored me.
What do I do now???
Please give me some opinions because I feel completely lost....
Post Edited (lexxy821) : 7/24/2011 12:24:50 PM (GMT-6)