Hi, again, Beautifulmess,
I knew others would be along soon to help. When I posted, I recognized that your husband had drinking problems, but I didn't mention it because I thought you needed first to recognize that he was reflecting himself more than he was anything about
Alcoholics often drink to medicate an underlying depression. The doctor who asked you if he was bipolar was right on "target" with a first attempt to look at his problem. Until your husband recognizes that he has a serious problem and an underlying cause, he is not likely to give up the drinking. But that's something he must do if he wants to have a life that is full and able to be constructive and beneficial.
When he comes back, if he does, you might wish to provide him with literature on the subject of alcoholism, more specifically, the Hazeldon Foundation's work called "Alcoholics Anonymous". It's the best explanation for your husband's behavior that I can think of at the moment. It's also very enlightening for your benefit in understanding what lies beneath the alcoholic's motivation for behavior that is abusive.
Please continue with your therapy and don't be so hard on yourself.
You are not really responsible for his conduct, but you may be more satisfied within your inner self if you continue therapy until you feel strong enough to stand alone until he is able to stand tall with you in an appropriate relationship.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 2/1/2012 8:06:47 AM (GMT-7)