You know i can tell you that i fully inderstand where you are right now. This was the same pronblem that drove my wife and i apart.Here is what i figured out.
Its very powerful to feel rejected by the one that married you. For me it was a huge slap in the face every night. I mean my wife at one point said she never wanted to have sex again??? Im too young at 40 to stop having sex. THe rejection i felt was awefull, and it caused my to go outside my marriage again and again looking for what i was missing.
I didnt find it out there, thats the long and the short of it. The answers are with your husband and you, you need to make him aware that when you want to make love he needs to be there for you. Escpecially with all you are facing there will be plenty of days when you wont feel sexy, so when you do you need to strike when the iron is hot. (Sorry for all the methophors) LOL LOL LOL
But talk to your husband, really talk to him. ANd if the dummy isnt listening then talk some more. There is plenty of ways aside from sex to show affection and intimacy. But he needs to know that when he doesnt show even the least bit of interest in you when you are feeling "good" then it hurts you very deeply.
But cheating isnt the answer. Trust me on that. It cost me my marriage, most of my things, and almost my life. It isnt an answer.