We might be disabled but we are not victims. I know how hard it is to live with bipolar. I battle with suicidality 40% of the time, inability to otherwise function another 40% of the time and only have normal mood and cognitive&physical function 20% of the time. Living with bipolar is an extraordinarily painful and crippling experience! Bipolar makes our relationships brittle and our work life a mess to the point that both can be non-existent. I have not worked or been in a sustainable relationship in the past decade. It is so easy to blame others for our pain and want to be told that we did everything right but the fact is that with this illness we stuff up A LOT. Our perception is skewed, our moods are skewed and our energy levels all over the shop. Many of these difficulties are because of our illness and our poor choices within that illness - not others being mean to us. Personally, I don't want to come here to be enabled with the harmful things I do. I want it pointed out and have ideas given so that I can try to live my life more effectively. Isn't the amount of BP spouses who come here with their hearts ripped out their chests evidence of how harmful BP behaviour
s can be? That doesn't mean that we are responsible for EVERYTHING that goes wrong. But we do tend to make really bad relationship decisions; prefer to stay in bad relationships than be on our own; leave good relationships; we fall out with friends and colleagues often; we have huge difficulties parenting well. We need help with managing these tendencies; not to be patted on the head and told that we are right and everyone else is wrong. We need to learn and grow, and yes, I do agree there is a lot of room for support, but support in our learning and growing, not support in staying stuck and playing victim. I do also realise there are times where we stuff up and even though we take full responsibility for our actions, the consequences of our actions are still extraordinarily painful to bear. That is somewhat different. I also realise that an online forum is not judge and jury of how much someone is responsible for their distress; but getting it as close to spot on; can really help with building capacity and interdependence. I hope I make sense. I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT SUGGESTING WE EVER DESERVE OR ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING ABUSED. (Making sure we don't cry "abuse").
In essence, what I am saying is if I feel victimised, please encourage me to take responsibility for my part to play in the situation and give me ideas about
how I could handle it better next time. What do other's think about
BP and taking responsibility for our part to play in situations? This is a really interesting topic for me because I battle so hard with feeling responsible for BEING ABUSED and then diametrically having a blindness to my own harmful actions. Can other's see this in their BP?
Post Edited (Living Well) : 4/1/2012 3:58:31 PM (GMT-6)