It's largely her emotional immaturity, Farcom, bolstered by a depression that needs to be treated and psychotherapy to teach her how adults behave.
I think you would be smart to seek therapy, because in my opinion, you have suffered traumatic stress in this relationship.
A strong relationship is built when two people are independent but meet for sexual and other positive personality characteristics that cause life to run relatively smoothly, at least, and to give a sense of security to both partners. It's wonderful when each of them has spiritual values that are a major part of their lives.
You might describe it as the sun and the moon relationship in any 24-hour period. Both are necessary to make up a day, but each has an entirely different role to play in the travel through the 24 hours ahead.
Generally, the mature man has a natural leadership capacity; and, while the lady may be intelligent, it is natural for her to be inclined to follow the direction of a real leader, sometimes having disagreements, but they are rationally handled, not as your girlfriend wants to dictate the way in which they should be managed.
Psychotherapy may open your eyes to things that are causing you to have anxiety in this particular relationship. Expect things to change if either of you is interested in pursuing the underlying causes of the problems you have.
I think you'll be pleased with the results of psychotherapy.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 4/16/2012 12:59:34 PM (GMT-6)