I read an interesting statement today by a doctor of psychology who said that essentially what we all have to do is to take a pill to kill the ego and that isn't easy to do.
Your husband will learn, if he is willing to talk to AA people, that it's the ego that gets in the way of all the turmoil your husband experiences. Medically, he can be stabilized, but emotionally he must learn humility. No other group that I've ever heard of teaches that more successfully than Alcoholics Anonymous.
They rarely have people who follow their 12-step program who do not succeed in arresting their illness, and alcoholism is an illness. Dr. Kathleen DesMaissons has written about
alcoholism in her little work called "Potatoes, not Prozac". Diet changes worked for her as the daughter of a brilliant alcoholic father. She really knows what she's talking about
and how diet affects improvement for alcoholics. (She is the first woman to be awarded a doctorate in nutrition for alcoholic patients--in essence that's what the degree is about
You might be able to find comfort in three books: "Alcoholism" by the Hazeldon Foundation and two little paperbacks called "Forgiving and Moving On" and "Keep It Simple". (They would be very helpful for your husband when placed on a table in the living room where he might see them and develop an interest in reading.)
Your husband's drinking when he begins the depressive stage of bipolar illness is an effort to counteract the depression--to self-medicate, as you suggest. You might wish to talk to your psychotherapist about
it; I'm sure you'll learn much more there that is helpful.
The biggest thing I've seen today about
it is the article by the psychologist who says that what is needed is a pill to "kill the ego". It's humility that brings one out of alcoholism and bipolar illness to some extent.
Spirituality is another key that leads to managing the ego.
Take care; I hope you're feeling better.
P.S. (He's got to learn to stop the drinking for himself, not for you. Thinking that he will do it for you and not for himself leaves him an avenue of escape in case he wants to drink again.)
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 5/16/2012 11:10:02 AM (GMT-6)