Your post was very real and truthful, Frustrated Husband; I appreciate that and welcome you to the Bipolar Forum.
The most significant thing that strikes me about
your situation is that for some time your wife was not taking medications that are appropriate for bipolar patients. The illness is, in part, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and there are very good mood stabilizers now that restore the chemical balance.
Had your wife been on one for several years, it's likely that her illness might not have progressed as it has. You are right in every sense regarding your observations and the pain that bipolar illness causes its victims, not to mention the pain the bipolar patient suffers alone.
If an intervention is needed, see that it's done and soon. Your wife needs psychiatric therapy and a mood stabilizer to get her chemistry in line again so that she may have a reasonably normal life with her husband and family.
One of the consequences of falling into depression or mania is that the patient loses all rational thinking ability. The reason just seems to disappear. It may last for a day or two in the rapid-cycling bipolar or it may last in one polar level or the other for months, or even years if the patient doesn't get medication.
Another aspect that you must deal with is that the illness gets worse over the years without medication; so it's vital that your wife accept the illness and stay on prescribed meds. Very likely, she will have them boosted or changed after several years, even lowered if she takes control of her life and eats and sleeps properly.
She must avoid caffeine and alcohol in her diet. They make the illness worse.
Right now, it's best to concentrate on her getting on the proper meds. Later, as she progresses, encourage her to find out about
her illness and to learn how to be what one moderator here calls being "proactive in her health and maintenance".
I wish for you a far more content and peaceful journey in the future.
Take care of yourself and the girls.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 5/16/2012 1:33:23 PM (GMT-6)