Hello geist.justine, and welcome to the Bipolar Forum.
Yours is a sad case of having made the human error of falling in love with someone who has a major mental illness that has probably never been treated. Your psychiatrist is right; it is fortunate that he left as he did and that you have escaped the ravages that the illness can cause when the patient is unwilling to accept that he has an illness and refuses treatment.
It is not my wish to be insensitive regarding your shock and dismay; it is just that your facing the situation with strength and determination are required for your recovery.
You need to continue psychotherapy in order to relieve the traumatic stress syndrome disorder that accompanies trying to live with someone who is bipolar and in denial.
Since he's out of the country it's not likely that you will ever recover the financial loss you have sustained, although you will need to confer with a lawyer to determine what your next actions should be.
Somehow, I hope you will be able to realize that you are fortunate to no longer be subjected to the situation you've endured. It will take some time to grieve, but you have a lifetime ahead of you to find a healthy man who will support and love you as you deserve.
Nothing that you might have said or done has any real relationship to his behavior. As you learn more about bipolar illness and the ravages it can incur when untreated, the more you will appreciate your psychiatrist's statement that it is good that he left as he did.
I hope you also understand that not all bipolar patients are as seriously ill as your former husband is. There are degrees of sickness in this illness. Some people may have a very mild case; others, like your husband, are paralyzed by it.
Continue therapy; it's the best possible action you can take, and secondly, seek legal advice when the time comes for divorce papers to be filed.
Take care and continue to post as you wish.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 5/16/2012 8:42:43 PM (GMT-6)