I am a 25 year old new mother with a 7 month old baby. My husband is 24. We live on Long Island in Nassau County.
My husband recently started having severe issues that can best be described as manic, depression, etc. This began shortly before the baby was born. Prior to baby, for the entire full year he didn't display these signs. He worked, he had been a partner in two businesses, he had a good record in the community, etc. Every so often, he'd have slight ups and downs and different thinking patterns (i.e. marching to the beat of a drum no one could hear), but I thought it was because he is extremely creative.
3 months before baby, he started with serious problems like insomnia, erratic behavior, some irrational thoughts and was "spot treated" for anxiety. After baby was born, it tapered off.
Flash forward to today: Last night he was hospitalized after he attempted to hurt himself. He will be in there several days. For the past 3-4 months, he has been extremely erratic, unpredictable, irritable, won't go out of our apartment, doesn't go to his one job, in trouble all the time at the other job, making quick, erratic decisions out of nowhere (i.e. just leaving the state), gambled ALL our money on penny stocks because of what he "read on the internet", wouldn't take care of himself, we haven't slept in the same room in a month, he is paranoid, etc. I begged him for MONTHS to get counseling, but he refused and continued on highs on lows. Short of calling an ambulance and embellishing the story a bit (i.e. exaggerate about behavior when it wasn't actually serious or claim he was abusing me), I couldn't FORCE him to get help. I got to the end of my rope a few days ago and told him if he couldn't be there mentally or want to be a father or be married we had to live separately. I have been caring for him as though he were a child, all while caring for our child and sleeping literally 2 hours a night or less with no food in the house for me at times.
Yesterday, we were talking and he was OK and I told him I needed to talk to him about the bills because we had under $200 in our joint account. I asked if he had checks to deposit or what the deal was. He told me I couldn't add and he had it all under control. He made extremely non-coherent sentences. He talked about all sorts of irrelevant things. Then he demanded I take him to the army recruitment office so he could enlist/find out why they denied him (i.e. he's in default on EVERY loan and refused to pay IRS). When I said we needed to talk about things, etc, he freaked out and tried to stab himself in the neck with a pen and hit himself.
Anyway, I have, for the past few months, exhausted myself physically and emotionally. I have not been able to work full time since I had a C-section and a fractured hip while pregnant (worked 2 jobs until i was 7 months to make up for his lack of work ethic); my employer illegally terminated me (can't do ANYTHING about it and no lawyer can really take it) and I have not been able to find a job. When I did just about land a job, I was denied because of credit (husband KILLED both our credits in his erratic spending during highs, etc). I submit resumes, I get nowhere. I've worked online doing work for under minimum wage, sold things on ebay, saved money with extreme couponing, all while taking care of the baby full time, 24/7 because he can't even help for 5 minutes.
All that being said, I am not currently working because 1) I can't find a job 2) if I find one, I have gotten (at least a dozen times) concern because I am a mother 3) denied due to credit 4) have NO CHILDCARE
We have $3200 in bills due in 10 days. We have $170. He is in hospital and will be losing his job, but I can't tell him that while in hospital. He's on his dad's insurance, but it doesn't cover much. I have no insurance.
1) What are the steps of things I need to do?
2) What options are there for me?
3) What do i do with NO family, NO support? (i.e. his family has supported him and given him thousands and enabled him for the past year and are tapped out. They even said I would have to go to a shelter with the baby)