So last year, I started to become a different person. I was always crying and I was going insane. I had no energy whatsoever. I was violent, angry and I was what my parents would call 'psychotic'. I was having hallucinations and seeing people and hearing voices whilst being paranoid and I was worried that the whorl wanted to kill me and that I wasn't safe anywhere. I saw a psychologist who referred me to a psychiatrist. In the end she told me that I was a smart girl who was 'playing' my parents to make them think I was mentally ill. This was not the case and my parents do not know what to do. I was depressed back then, but now things are somewhat different. I was surprisingly getting straight A's until term 4, when things got bad. I was hyper, constantly talking because my thoughts were racing and my mouth couldn't keep up. I would do impulsive things and spend money like theres no tomorrow. Sometimes I told lies and stories about
one friend to another to cause a stir. I was still paranoid and having hallucinations too. All this went away for 2 months and then bam, it was back again. It all started with my obsessions. When I'm hyper I get obsessions and I don't talk about
anything but them. My current obsession is Titanic and I have watched it 151 times in 10 weeks. I am banned from speaking about
it because I it's all I ever talk about
. At school I'm hyper, I'm impatient and can't bare to hear my teachers talk. I tell them to shut up and I constantly interrupt them. I am risky, I even pierced my own belly button because I thought it'd be fine. I'm also impulsive when it comes to my art work, I paint 3 large canvas's a day (on weekends) and I turn the lounge upside down making sculptures with everything I can find. I talking a million miles an hour again and my thoughts are racing back and forth. I have so much energy that I could run a marathon in minutes. I can't concentrate, I feel like a tree because my thoughts keep branding out and getting side tracked. Last night I had some hallucinations and voices were telling me what to do and I'm convinced that my neighbourhood are watching me through their windows and everyone wants me dead. Even that my parents are trying to poison my food, therefore I wont eat it. I am violent and threaten to kill people, I feel like the 'King of the World!' Sorry, bit of a Titanic moment there. I'm unstoppable and it can get really scary. I only just got a part time job and I really enjoy work but...I need help, I want to be in a psych ward so I don't end up hurting anyone, or worse. The only thing is, what about
work, I cannot afford to lose this job, it's my first job! If I voluntarily go in, will I be able to be taken to work by my mum if I am in a fit enough state? What do you think could be wrong? Also, my grades are dropping from straight A's to B's and C+. My mum thinks I'm bipolar but I'm not too sure. I'm not asking for a diagnosis, just a little help as to what your opinions are! please help!!!
Also, as you can see, my moods have gone from depressed to hyper. I don't know very much about
bipolar but I know that it sounds like what I might have. Delusions and hallucinations are also a sign of mania and to be honest with you, I think I'm manic at the moment :(((((
sorry,they are a sign of psychosis which is a sign of sever mania. I have symptoms that are bipolar and not schizophrenia so I think it sounds more like bipolar but I'm not sure. How do I tell my mum? she knows that I'm experiencing psychosis, she said it herself and she knows theres a problem but i don't know how to tell her!! :(((
oh just to add, I go to sleep very late (normally I would at 7 o'clock) compared to normal, about
11 o clock and I don't need much sleep. I am so confident and no job or task it too difficult!!!
Sorry for this being so long but...A lot of people are saying it may be schizophrenia, in which it may well be, but...why am I having these mood changes, for the first part of my story I was depressed, not severely but it was definitely depression. After that I was hyper for a few weeks before my symptoms went away almost completely. Next they came back again, all rapidly at once and i have been hyper since...for the last 6 months or so. Therefore I believe it may be bipolar. Some people in severe manic episodes do get psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions. BTW I am only 14
Post Edited (Crohnie101) : 7/24/2012 8:31:34 PM (GMT-6)