Im new here. Done a little reading and I suppose I am looking for a bit of advice that I can use to help my wife.
She had been diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and most recently as bipolar.
As everyone here knows its never easy, I am sure I dont need to go into the details of the trials and tibulations.
My wife seems to be getting worse though, with every visit to the docs she comes back seemingly more dejected and depressed about her situation and ours. We went to the docs together recently, i was shocked by what I heard. Some things that were new to me, which I was grateful for her opening up about, but some of the things, they were pure un-truths. It is something I have been noticing recently, that she has been altering the reality of certain situations and actions we have been through. She completely blew things out of proportion and basically misled the doc. I did not know how to react, so instead of confronting her, I raised the same points but emphasized the positive of experiences, she quite quickly disregarded all that i said.
I have been with her for 10 years, married for 2, she was diagnosed the first time 5 years ago.
We have been through several hospital admissions, many medication changes and several suicide attempts (we have been lucky enough that I came home early from work on one occassion because i felt uneasy after a chat on the phone with her).
I love her dearly and have had no plans of leaving her, aside from the difficulties we go through, i would rather go through it with her than anyone else.
Recently, I have been getting the feeling that she has been pushing me away, driving me away harder and harder, the more i resist, the more aggressive and hurtful she has become. It has been very hard to deal with, I know deep down that she want to protect me as she keeps telling me i am too good for her and i should not have to put up with her and that if i leave her i can still find someone and move on.
only to have her begin a discussion about kids schooling and how we would need to move to a better place for their high school. bear in mind we are maybe 5 years away from thinking about having kids, illness dependant obviously, and a further 10 years of junior school before moving is even an option.
I recently got told, when we went to visit her parents, that she would not be coming home with me, she refused to book her return ticket, which was going to be a week after mine. yesterday she flew off at me for not offering to book for her, although i did. that resulted in a blatant answer and up to now no further contact! 24hrs later.
speak of which, she has just messaged to say she is fine, albeit it very abrupt, at least it is something.
I dont know what i am hoping to get out of this, possibly support, possibly advise, possibly reassurance that things can improve.
i want to help her more, but i am physically and mentally exhausted, i dont know what else to do anymore.