Thats whats so tough about this disease, it presents so many different faces. When your knee hurts, they can xray, mri, surgery, so many different things. With us its different, cause who and what we are changes each and every day.
Ive told you before mogs, so pardon me while i do it again. I have found acceptance of my life to have provided huge relief. I accept that i am and allways will be BP. SO now that i have that under my belt, i work on finding ways to limit the damage that BP can do to my life.
There is so much in this world today that has moved our thoughts into a Pass/fail, Win/Lose type mindset. Everything in my BP is shades of gray (no sex jokes here please.)LOL LOL LOL And living and accepting that there will be wins and losses in my life is how i go about it.
But i pro rate the losses. Whats that mean? A spending spree of only 20.00 is a Win, even i if slipped a bit, i didnt waste a huge ton of money. A 20.00 loss is much easier to recover from then a 200.00 loss, or a 2000.00 loss.
The thing is, if you get up each day and try your best, and you know if its your true best or not, if you do that, and still come up short you are so much better off then if you never tried at all. Accept that you are human, you will make mistakes. Thomas Edision tried 1300 times to create a working lightbulb. When asked if he felt like a failure for not gettign it quicker he said no, he just knows 1300 ways to not creat a working lightbulb.
Do your best to really nail down the worst one or two issues you deal with. Just one or two. Because those are the worst, making them better if you can will drasticly improve your life. Dont think you will ever be normal, you wont. But embrace and love the fact that you are different, and that you are exactly as god created you. That you have amazing gifts you may not even have discovered yet, and that as a different person you can bring so many different skills to the table.
Sorry to prattle on, i hope you will find relief.