My husband is bi-polar and has new meds

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 280
   Posted 5/14/2005 3:17 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband and I have been married 6 years and I have been totally committed to him, although the road has been very rocky. Over the years, he has done drugs (which I have begged him not to), lied to me constantly, quit his job and put the entire financial burden on me, walked off and left me the week I came home from having a hysterectomy, stopped having sex with me, he has hit me, etc. He always comes back and says he's sorry for everything and he will change.
His mother died 2 months ago and I know he is suffering. In the past 3 months he has only earned $274 and I told him he has to help me (I work full time and do 85% of the household chores.) He has never had to have any responsibility, as his mother did everything for him, icluding letting him live with her until we got married (he was married before and has a child), buying his cigarettes, etc. He doesn't understand about buying gas, house payments, home repairs, or the value of a dollar. He sits home when he is supposed to be looking for a job.
Anyway, last week I told him I couldn't go on with him if he didn't get some help. He has been on Neurontin for a few years, with good results at first. Yesterday the doctor added Wellbutrin.
Does anyone have any input? I suffer from depression, which is controlled with Serzone, and I also take Ativan for anxiety and panic disorder. I know he is depressed, but I am sinking under the responsibility he has placed on me.  Thanks for listening.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 5/15/2005 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I am very sorry you are having to deal with this, however, your husband's behaviour isn't just because he is BP.  We all have choices.  He is a grown man on his second marriage and has a child.  Yet he behaves like a 5 year old.  BP doesn't mean retarded!  He has gotten away with all this bad behaviour, so why change?  Mommy took care of him, now you do.  You need to give him an ultimatum, either get help (right meds, no, welbutrin isn't going to fix him) and get a grip, take responsibility or you leave.  Period.  What is so great about him to even consider staying?  He's physically and emotionally abusive, let alone being a total loser.  You really ought to just get out, anyway, he won't change.
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