Hi, I have been bipolar 1 for many years and I am now having more difficulties than I ever have. I have been trying to find the right medication for me since December 2012. I used to be functioning well on Pristiq and Lamictal since 2008' but it stopped working and I was weaned off of medication in summer of 2012. But during this proccess I encountered a domino effect of triggers which set off 1. PTSD and child hood trauma and at the same time 2. my insurance changed for the worse. 3. I lost my therapist and psychiatrist. So I was on no meds and a basket case trying to keep it together. Now I am with a psychiatrist, and she is trying to help me find what works for me and it has been a long hard road to travel. I just feel worn out mentally. I have deep depression more than anything and no will to live sometimes. I feel deffective and worthless. I feel I don't fit in anywhere. I feel I don't matter and no one wants to be bothered. It is like being in a dark hole and I cannot get out. I feel sometimes I am living in a nightmare, then I have all this shame about
who I am with bipolar. Thanks for listening.