I don't know if Skull knows enough about
mental illness to be able to make such claims. Always be wary of strong claims or recommendations from very recent members. Not that they are inherently "bad" but it takes a while to get into the swing of a new environment and it is always best to get to know where the person making strong statements is coming from.
Personally I think you are a remarkable man Mako (as a veteran member and a lifelong sufferer of extreme treatment resistant mental illness).
Mental illness can skew everything that most normal people experience. Life for the unstable mental ill person is often a series of desperate acts to take away the symptoms of mental illness.
I think for every partner of a mentally unstable person, it is a dance between compassion and understanding of the disorder and setting boundaries about
what you will and won't accept.
Sadly you have very little control or influence over your wife's actions. It seems that her illness may be so out of control, she might even have some loss of control over her own actions. Try not to fall into the trap of thinking you can love a bipolar person well. Only medication and therapy can help manage this illness. It never goes away - and if it does go away - it obviously wasn't actually bipolar.
You will have to experience this rollercoaster ride for yourself, but it might be worth at this stage in the journey to set the point at which time you will allow yourself to get off the rollercoaster ride.
I'm starting to think marriage vows don't apply to the chronically mentally ill - and I'm not referring to infidelity. I mean the welfare of their partners committing to be there in sickness and in health. No one deserves to have their heart stomped on and their head messed with - especially on a permanent basis.
I can't control my symptoms and that is why I chose to remain single and not have friends. It is just not fair to drag anyone else through the agony of this illness. I don't think your wife is well enough to be able to appreciate about
how her actions impact on you, so it will most probably be left up to you to self-protect.
Some bipolar marriages do work, and I applaud your commitment, but it will depend on your wife committing doing everything in her power to be as well as she possibly can be. Unfortunately it does seem that at this point in time she is a very long way from this position - and yes, it is likely you might need to prepare yourself for your marriage to fail in time. Even healthy people's marriages fail.
Please try to remember your first responsibility is to yourself, not your wife. There are professionals that can help your wife far more than you could in a million years. That is the reality of serious mental illness - only highly trained professionals can really help anyone make any substantial inroads. The person closest to your wife, needs to be a psychiatrist, not you, unfortunately :(.
Hope this helps untwist the mind-twists of bipolar, from someone who is actually more unwell that your wife but tries to be as least destructive as possible.
Best of luck in this challenge you have.
Post Edited (Living Well) : 9/17/2013 7:47:17 PM (GMT-6)