Posted 11/22/2013 3:14 PM (GMT -6)
Hi, my name is Sara. I have bipolar I and generalized anxiety disorder. I also have fibromyalgia, CFIDS, arthritis, IBS, migraines, etc. I am in my early 30's and have been married 15 years to a wonderfully supportive man, and we have a large family.
My first major depressive phase with a suicidal plan was in 6th grade, and I was diagnosed properly seven years ago, but I'm here because I feel newly diagnosed. This year has been a rapid cycling year- 1 manic phases, 2 mixed phases, and 2 severely depressed phases. This last mixed phase landed me in the hospital. The mania stopped with the new medicine, and I was finally starting to crawl upwards with the depression, until we got some really bad news- we were turned down for the refinance of our home which puts us in real danger of losing it. Then I went downhill again. The meds are really helping- I can tell because I'm holding it together at all, but I'm still trying to keep from going right back to the hospital. For all but the first year or two after my diagnosis, I've been in total denial. I've told everyone it was anxiety and depression and would only accept treatment that leaned towards that- until a crisis came up, then I would desperately scramble for treatment, and when it was over, go back to only my A-D, which I tolerated for a long time but didn't do a ton for me. I had a year and a half remission, which added to my denial- I thought God had cured me. :( But this year has shown me that I can't do that anymore, that if I want to attain stability I have to admit I have bipolar and actually get adequately treated for it.
I have irritable mania, and I don't struggle with a lot of the things I hear other bipolar people struggling with (hypersexuality, spending too much- maybe because I've been poor since early childhood and my beliefs are incredibly firm in the sexuality area, again since childhood. I do develop paranoia and thought intrusion, and I drive recklessly.). Usually my mania transitions into a mixed phase, which once treated usually plummets into depression. So I often feel "out of place" even when I read bipolar material. I haven't talked with other people who have the disease, except in hospitals, so this is a first for me.
Anyways, sorry so long. I'm looking forward to being here.