HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Keep the kids safe

Support Forums
>
Bipolar Disorder
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 2/7/2014 8:40 PM (GMT -8)
My niece is BP and she is having problems with drinking too much. She has kids and is alone-her bf died. She acts unstable at times yet takes care of her kids and works full time. The problem is I heard that she did something possibly dangerous with her kids and the school heard about it. I got a phone call from CPS and I want to be honest with them within limits.

What do you think will happen if I do this? I only want to see that the kids are safe and that my niece gets some much needed help.
Posted 2/8/2014 1:02 AM (GMT -8)
Child Protective Services are big clunky organisations filled with people just out of school with a very high burn out rate and the organisations have turn over rate. There seems to be a lot of chinese whispers going on - and the school would have a different story to her kids and her kids would have a different story to your niece, not because anyone is lying, it is because they are looking at the same issue from different angles though their own unique lens. Surrounding your niece with support and letting the CPS know you have her back is what they need to know. Mental illness and addiction does affect parenting so you niece needs to be actively engaged in recovery. Both are very difficult illnesses to manage and they feed off each other. That said the kids deserve the best possible upbringing they can have. I would frame your observations in terms of a needs analysis about what kind of supports might help your niece and her children, so they can be supported through the issues. CPS are so overworked they will probably just want to know someone responsible is supporting and guiding you niece and keeping things as nurturing and stable as possible for the kids. Depending when bf died there may be grief issues that are exacerbating the weaknesses in the family unit?
Posted 2/8/2014 10:24 AM (GMT -8)
Hi sue,

CPS operates different in different countries. Sometimes information gathered by them indicates that the risk of harm to a child is so great that he or she would be unprotected if allowed to remain in his or her own home. When this happens, children must be removed on an emergency basis.

Few of the children who are reported to CPS are removed from their homes. In most situations where verified family problems exist, the families and CPS work together cooperatively to resolve them. However, under certain circumstances, certain law in certain countries does allow a police officer or a CPS Specialist to temporarily remove a child for up to 72 hours for protection while the investigation takes place.

A child may also be removed for up to 12 hours for a medical or psychological evaluation. If the CPS investigation shows that the child must remain out of the home for a longer period to protect them from harm, CPS arranges for safe, temporary care.

You can probably call the CPS in your area and find out this information. Ask them what's their procedure and what they do, etc.
You should also talk to your niece about her drinking problem. Let her know how it is affecting the kids and what can happen. Tell her you don't want her losing her kids. You just care and want her to feel better and be happy but you can concern. Maybe you can suggest she get some counseling. This may help her.

UA
Posted 2/13/2014 9:15 AM (GMT -8)
In all honesty mate, I say spill the beans. This isn't helping her, or her kids. Honesty is the best policy and all that rar rar. Don't think all negative about it, this isn't a bad thing to do. She needs help, and the bubs need a stable mummy. CPS will help them out, they're not totally evil....well at least not in Australia.
Posted 2/14/2014 12:15 PM (GMT -8)
Try to help her before putting her through the system if your in the U.S. It's screwed up. I would support her and try to encourage her to get the help she needs for her mental condition. Its a difficult thing but its no different than a diabetic that needs insulin, you just have to make sure to do your routine.(when i say routine meds or therapy what ever is going to help her the best)
Posted 2/17/2014 7:25 PM (GMT -8)
Unfortunately diabetics aren't dangerous to children, bp's with alcohol/drug problems are! I should know I was one, I'm still bi-polar but I'm in recovery and I speak from experience when i say sheilding her from the consequences of her using will not help her and those children are most definetly more important than she is, she's an adult, she has a choice, they don't and seriously do you think she wants to be a bad mother? I didn't and she may be screaming(silently) for help, so please give it to her. One of the many CPS can do now is require her to take medication and get help for substance abuse, nobody can force her but it sure can't hurt. I hope this helps and you shouldn't let anybody make you feel bad for doing the next right thing.
Posted 2/17/2014 9:11 PM (GMT -8)
No shielding her is not the right thing to do. But making her feel like "a crazy freak" because she is bipolar is not going to help her either. I have been there I went CPS hoops after being an addict. They aren't thorough they could not even figure out the domestic violence going on between my husband and I. They had "safety monitors" that well...lets just say there are huge holes in the system.
Yes, she needs to be held accountable for her actions. She needs to understand the effects of her choices, without having her self esteem destroyed as well. Its a hard balance.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply