Hi, Kathytu, I am so glad you found us; it's a really good bunch of people. IMO, your husband displays some classic mania symptoms. The running off with an old girlfriend is classic; I did the same about 5 years ago, I am NOT proud of it, and will regret it always. The grandiosity is key; not found in any illnesses except BP and schitzophrenia. In order to be diagnosed wtih BP, the requirement is mania or hypomania for more than 4 days. Type I may only have one depressive episode in their whole life, it's mania. Type II tends to be a little more depressed than manic. I feel that he is probably BP. He is on a very high dose of Seroquel, that's probably why he is so groggy. He really needs a mood stabilizer WITH the Seroquel. I know it is a ***** living with an untreated BP, the worst. Most of us are really wonderful people, you just can't see it when we're sick. If/when he gets BP diagnosis, he is going to have to learn to accept it, and take his meds. This is much easier said than done; we almost all go on and off, and are in denial for a long time. I recommend when he starts them, you monitor his pills. Count them, but don't tell him you're going to, just in case he isn't taking them. It happens a lot. When he starts a stabilizer, you should start to see improvement in a matter of days, but maybe not, as dosages vary widely from person to person. It's hard to treat, I will not lie. you have to be very diligent, observant and be in very close contact with your doc, don't let anything get out of control, call at the first signs of trouble. Learn all you can, you will need to be able to spot them immediately, because he won't know. It's so hard for us to tell. Or he may deny it, too. Blaming the spouse for being crazy or "making him" do the things we do is classic.
I highly recommend you seek marriage counseling, because meds can only do so much. He has to learn to deal with things, and he needs to understand your side, too. A counselor can moderate the conversation so that a big wicked fight doesn't start, and results can be had.
God, I don't have enough time to tell you everythng, there's so much to know!
Please let us know what the pdoc says, what meds he is prescribed and how you both are feeling about it, OK? We are here anytime for ya!